I really didn’t want to talk to her. I really hate confrontation and I wasn’t prepared to deal with all the emotions that came with ending a relationship. She was already upset and blowing my phone up. I said my goodbyes to the girls and hopped into my car. I put my ear buds in and took a deep breath.

“What have I done to be treated like this? Why are you being mean to me?”

“I’m sorry, you’re right, I shouldn’t be like this. I should talk to you about how I feel,” I said, my confidence waning.

“Talk to me about how you’re feeling. What are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling a lot of things,” I said, being vague was something I did to avoid fighting.

“You need to tell me what’s going on.”

“I will, I’m on my way to your place.”

“I’m not waiting, you tell me now.”

“I’m feeling distressed, unhappy. I feel different. I am not me.”

“Unhappy? You’re not you? Explain it to me.”

“I don’t feel like myself, I haven’t felt like me in a long time. I feel like I am two people, your girlfriend and my friend’s friend. They are not the same person.”

“What are you saying? Do you want to break up.”

“I’m on my way, we can talk when I get there.”

“No Bette, you tell me right now. Do you want to break up?”

“I’m on my way, give me fifteen minutes.”

“Answer the fucking question, do you want to break up with me?”

“Yes,” I said in an exasperated breath.

It seemed that time was slowing. Should I turn left or right? Home or Sarah’s place? I heard sniffles, then she cried out. She started bawling and my heart just ached, tears started coming out of my eyes. She cried and cried, and between her sobs, “how could you” escaped her lips.

“I’m just not happy anymore, I cannot remember the last time I was happy with you.”

“Why couldn’t you just tell me,” she cried, “we could have fixed it.”

“This isn’t something you can help me fix. This is a me thing and I cannot commit myself to you knowing that I am unhappy.”

“Fuck you Bette, fuck you.”

I sat there, the world was moving by so fast but I was in slow motion. Sarah was going off about something I did wrong and Rose was running around the house making as much noise as possible. Sarah snaps at Rose and she starts crying. Looking to me, I shrug, I couldn’t save her from her punishment.

I had been dating Sarah officially for a year, we hadn’t known each other long before I asked her to be my girlfriend. I had been dating Stacy, whom I felt I did fall for. When she dumped me, I was devastated, I was crushed and I sought to bounce back. A week after Stacy dumped me, I was seeing Sarah. A week later, she was my girlfriend. I feel guilty to this day because all Sarah was, was a rebound. I didn’t know she’d fall for me. Sometimes I think I did love her at one point. We had an amazing eight months, and it seemed like everything was coming together. That was until she started to change.

I make an amazing living, curating the California Arts Center. I am recognized everywhere I go because of my ability to pull off the best showings and my art has been featured all over the world. My accomplishments come with amazing perks that Sarah has been spoiled with. I’ve given them many expensive gifts, taken them to Disney World, and New York. She wants more, more, more yet she’s complaining. Nothing was ever good enough for her. The lifestyle changed her.

Her loud seven year old daughter was a part of the package. It’s not that I didn’t love Rose, she was just a handful and at times, Sarah couldn’t control her. I had been very vocal about the fact that I wanted a family, that I wanted a lot of children. She had been on board with that at first. Then she started putting me on a time line. Courtship was moving fast, but she wanted to be married before children. So a long engagement and then marriage would take a while. Though she was only thirty-two, she didn’t want to have children past thirty-five. So the time line would have to be rushed. Then she made the comment that she didn’t want more children. That was something I wouldn’t compromise on. The one thing in life I wanted, she was taking back.