As soon as those words left her mouth my world turned upside down. My body instantly wanted to feel the warmth of her skin but my mind was screaming to get away. Suddenly I realized how much I wanted to hear her say that, however at the same time it really did scared me. Spencer was my best friend and I don’t want to lose her by going there. Part of me wanted to just put all my fears aside and just enjoy the feeling of having her at least once. I couldn’t give in though, it was wrong…

Me: How much how you been drinking Spence?

Spencer: A shot or two. But that’s doesn’t matter I meant everything that I just said. I’m giving you a free pass Ash, lets just not think about it anymore.

Me: Spencer why are you doing this? This is not you.

Spencer: Are you rejecting me?

Me: NO! .. I mean yes! .. uh uh.. I don’t know Spencer, I’m really confused right now.

Spencer: Ashley, there is nothing to be confused about.

Me: Do you understand what you are asking me? Spencer I don’t want to ruin our friendship!

Spencer: It won’t, Ashley we can forget about it aftewards. I just feel like this is something we owe to ourselves.

(It took all my strength to say the next words but I had too, Spencer wasn’t ready for such act.  She never will, She will forget about it but I never will. It will destroy me, so I had to lie to her.)

Me: I have never wanted you like that, Spencer and I never will. I’m sorry.

Spencer’s POV

As she spoke those words my heart slowly started breaking. It felt like my world was being shattered and everything that me and Ashley could of had, died with her words. Ashley didn’t want me, not even as a random fuck. What a fool had I been.. I was insulted beyond words, I was broken and lost.

I couldn’t cry in front her, but asking her such a thing had taken all my strength. I was vulnerable, and I couldn’t hide it. A tear rolled down my cheek, exposing all my pain to her.

Me: I.. I.. ( I was still speechless)