*Song lyrics in bold

As you can imagine the last few days after that night at the club things between me and Ashley have gotten well tense at times, the sexual tension is worse than ever. It is slowly driving me crazy and it is becoming quite difficult, damn her and her sexiness. She doesn’t even have to try but, damn her there is no denying it. Though now I am finding it my own personal mission not to let that control me. I am a Rock, Damn It! It is true I can no longer deny that there is something between me and Ashley, it is obvious that there is. I can however fight hard not to go there. It is so hard not to just let go and be with her, to take that step. Well plunge really…but thankfully she has made no step to talk about what is happening and I’m not about to bring it up. Though I feel her looking at me sometimes and I know she’s thinking about it then she chickens out I guess. Thank God! Though part of me wishes she would just make a move so I would be forced to confront this, maybe I need that little push. Shit, fuck..I don’t know….I know I’m rambling again, I’m sorry for that but, I have a little bit of a walk and there is nothing to keep my mind occupied.

I’m walking down the street to Ashley’s loft. And, no before you ask I did not walk all the way downtown from campus here either. I just off the bus, yes Ashley is going to give me hell that I rode the bus instead of just calling her to pick me up. Oh well, she’ll live! It is about four o’clock and I just got done working in the studio, I spend nearly two hours in there today after my painting class dismissed. I felt the need to stay and work on the piece I was doing, I’m such a perfectionist sometimes, I swear it’s a curse. Well, I finally got so frustrated I decided to catch the bus and go over to Ashley‘s. I know it may seem weird but, I actually enjoy riding the bus. It is a good place to people watch and back in Ohio I would ride on the bus for no reason on occasion to just sit and sketch the people I saw. I know an odd way to spend your time I guess. I told Ashley about it the other day, she laughed and said I was “an odd one” but then I heard her mumble something about me being adorable. She says things like that all the time, I know she thinks I don’t hear her but, I do. It makes me smile every time. Anyway, I told Ashley we’d hang out today after our classes we done for the day, we would have dinner together. Since hers were done like an hour ago and mine we’ll counting my aftertime in the studio I’m all done too, here I am in front of Ashley’s building. I took the extra key out from it’s hiding place (yes I know where the key is, Ashley insisted on it, saying since Kyla has a bad habit of bringing home girls I needed a place to escape.) I thought it was weird when she showed me at first, I mean who hides the key to their apartment outside the building they live at, I didn’t push it though. I smiled at her thoughtfulness, she is just too much, too sweet. I stepped into the elevator and leaned against it’s wall as I rode it up to Ashley’s loft. Here we are, I pulled the accordion door open and went and unlocked the door, I wanted to surprise her by being early since she thought I was coming later. I heard the sound of strumming before stepping inside. I stayed quiet, I always loved to hear her play. Just Ashley, no band, no bells and whistles…Just Ashley and her guitar, she really was incredible. I walked closer toward the sound, there she was sitting on the couch, guitar in lap strumming away, her eyes closed. I stopped to just stare at her. She is beautiful, dressed simply in ripped jeans and a blue cut off t-shirt. Her hair threw up in a messy ponytail, a few strands of hair escaped and framing her face slightly. I leaned against the beam beside me as she began to sing, her eyes still closed and engrossed in the moment. I couldn’t help myself but, stare and be warmed by her velvety voice.