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    This is My Family….Chapter 32

     The scariest part of having a loved one die are the things they leave behind. Bette could feel and see traces of Tina everywhere. In the bathroom washing her face after a horrible
    night’s sleep she could see T’s toothbrush, still with bits of toothpaste on it. She could see strands of tina’s golden hair in her brushes….she saw bits of fingernails attached to the clipper, T;s clipper.
    Bette opened the backyard shed and looked at all those tools, all those garden tools…Tina’s. Her garden gloves were on the wooden sill, Bette took one and smelled it, pressed it
    to her face, tasted it…she could taste the old dried sweat of T’s palms. In the kitchen Bette found a well-worn homemade recipe book, Tina’s tight cursive writing scribbled all over it, notes,
    ingrediants, pages stained by fingertips covered in  flour or chocolate. Bette went into the bedroom and sat on the bed, she hadn’t touched tina’s side for the past couple days. Now she
    put her hand lightly over T’s pillow, the imprint of her head was still there. Bette opened the dirty laundry basket and took out all of T’s clothes that were in there….she smelled all
    of them, pressed her cheek against them, she could still smell T’s scent. Bette went over to Tina’s desk and took out everything that was in the drawers on it etc, then Bette looked
    at every piece of paper, everything. She studied tina’s style of writing. She looked over her work documents…the little notes to herself. Little reminders to get more eggs, to get
    Angie’s school supplies for September, to buy Purdy’s truffles for Bette. Bette found a folded paper and opened it…..it was a list of possible things to get for Bette’s birthday..which was
    looming in a few weeks…..things like Haida art prints, a woven blanket, the new book by jhumpa Lahiri, a erotic art photography bok….and a little reminder to get Angie the new Harry Potter
    to not let her feel left out. Bette stood up and went into the middle of the room. She stayed there looking up at the ceiling which needed a new coat of paint, something Tina
    wanted to do for ages. Bette looked down again. And then rolling up her sleeves she spent the next seven hours stripping the house of anything that remotely belonged to Tina.

     Angelica entered the house and immediantly knew something was different. She had spent the last hours making phonecalls, informing the gang and family members. They
    were all going to be here. Everybody was currently out of LA. Bette didnt do it because she had been loking catatonic for the past couple of days. She had hardly cried. Angelica
    herself felt like she was made of jelly. She vaguely realized that mom was gone, she mourned in a way a mother’s child did…..but it felt like mom was only on a trip. But as she went
    into the house she knew something was not right. It was so…….bare. Mentally bare. Angelica went from room to room, she saw Bette sleeping on the couch…..Angie didn’t disturb
    her. So Angelica looked more closely and realized…..Mom was gone. Her things were nowhere to be found. Her photographs, her recipie book…..even….even her labelled toothbrush.
    Angelica thought she was going to have a heart attack….but upon opening the spare room door stopped short.     All of it was here…..her mom was here. Angelica sank to the floor and
    sat against the wall, just looking….just looking at the huge pile of things that belonged to her mom.  Angelica felt a really weird empty feeling in her stomach, like nothing was there. Like
    her body couldn’t stand what her eyes saw.

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