I was kind of hoping that the walk would take a long time but I came upon Ashley’s house faster than I’d expected. I decided that waiting would just make it worse so I walked up to the side door  and knocked, trying to calm my heart which was attempting to jump out of my chest. The door was opened almost as soon as I opened it and I could tell that Ashley was surprised to see me because she didn’t say anything for a minute. She finally gained her thoughts though and looked behind her where her family was sitting around in the living room.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” She asked me softly.

“I don’t know if I can stay standing for much longer.” I answered, making her look at me worriedly but step back to let me in. She grabbed my hand without a thought and I pulled it back, holding back my own tears when her eyes filled with tears. We walked past her family and I gave a fake smile but I knew that they could all tell that something was wrong as we ascended the stairs, her parents not bothering with trying to keep us out of her bedroom.

I walked in, unsure of what to do as she sat down on the bed. I opted for leaning against the wall, a good distance away from her. She looked down, acknowledging the distance with a sad frown.

“Are you going to break up with me?”

“I don’t know.” I answered, “I really don’t want to.”

“I really don’t want you to!” She cried out, blushing at the outburst. “Spencer you have no idea how much –“

“Let me talk Ashley,” I cut in, making her shut up instantly. “I can’t understand why you did and I’m not going to try to understand because it just makes me crazy to think about it.” She nodded, standing up at the side of the bed, her fists clenching as if she was trying not to reach out to me and I knew exactly how she felt. “I hate that I can’t trust you. I put everything in our relationship and maybe that’s where I messed up. I should never have put that pressure on us.”  She shook her head, taking a step towards me but stopping again.