“Dad help,”

“Dad help, dad I love her….quite you’re whining. You think you have problems, wake up Spencer every one has problems only you don’t see us crying about it do you?”

“Stop….daddy,” Spencer didn’t know what to say. This man wasn’t her father, her father wasn’t mean and callous, her father’s eyes lit up with life and energy this man’s eyes were dim and cold.

“God Spencer grow up,” He said walking out of the light.

“No come back, I’m sorry…I’ll do better, I won’t complain!” she called after him. She didn’t care if he beat her at this point, her heart was racing and her palms were sweating. The darkness was getting closer, chest restricting, pain surging thru her body like needles, she wanted somebody there to hold her, tell her it was going to be all right, any thing but the coldness she felt.

“Spencer,” the light shifted along with her eyes…there stood her mother in a white doctor’s outfit. Her long blond hair tied back into a loose pony tail and her blue eyes bright with color Spencer had never seen before. It was memorizing the way the orange and red swirled in with her mother’s blue, Spencer felt like she was staring into a drowning sunset.

“Mom,” her words were little more than a whisper as her throat constricted and mouth went dry.

“Shhh, honey it’ll all be okay…” Paula moved close to her daughter, leaning down but not quite touching, her mother’s breathe dancing across her ear, “Just let go baby…”

“Mom, I don’t understand…” Spencer choked out thru the heart wrenching sobs controlling her quivering body now, “Why won’t you touch me?” she begged trying to arch her body off the body and touch her mother, to find the warmth she was seeking, the comfort she needed but still alluded her.

“Let everything go and I’ll touch you,” Paula whispered calmly. Her words soothing Spencer’s mind, it made the pain go away and the emptiness vanish but it made the coldness grow more. The room felt like it dropped at least thirty degrees, “Everything is going to be just fine….” ten more degrees, “We’re waiting Spence…” nine more, “Just set your mind free honey and come back to me….” seventeen degrees, Spencer was shivering with no way to cover up.