Carlisle motioned to the masculine leather chair near the desk. “Have a seat, Bella.”

I seemed to be having a difficult time making my legs move as I stumbled toward the chair, finally collapsing into its rich, fragrant leather.

“You seem distressed. Are you having second thoughts?” He scooted his chair directly across from mine and leaned slightly forward with one arm resting on the armrest.

“No!” I gasped, shocked that any of the Cullens could think any such thing.

His lips lifted into a gentle smile as he reached a cold hand toward me wiping a tear off my cheek. “Then why the tears?”

I stared at my shoes avoiding his tender gaze. “He doesn’t want this,” I murmured, my hand rubbing my forehead.

I could hear the smile in his voice as he countered my response. “He doesn’t want you to hurt. He doesn’t want to risk your soul. But never doubt how very much he wants you with him,” he said softly.

“He’s so angry,” I said simply.

“He’s angry at himself, Bella. Not you, never you.” His voice was so certain that I almost believed him.

I cast a glance at him before re-examining my shoes. “Maybe you should be the one to do it?” I suggested hesitantly. It wasn’t what I wanted, but making Edward do something he saw as morally wrong was incredibly selfish of me.

His eyes widened just a fraction. He looked toward the door that Edward had so hastily left through a few minutes ago then studiously examined his hands. “If that’s what you truly want, then of course, I’ll do this for you, Bella.”

My eyes blazed at him as the anger forced the fear out of its way and erupted. “What I want,” I fumed, “is for Edward to be here looking at me like you are looking at me. For him not to be angry and distant, but eager and comforting. Instead,” I went on with my tirade, “what I get is someone so lost in their despair that they can’t offer me any measure of calm or peace. I’m terrified, Carlisle…” my voice faltered. “…of the pain. It was bearable when I thought he’d really be there for me. A hundred percent. But he’s not. He’s wrapped his anger around himself like a warm blanket and cut himself off from me,” I finished as the tears overtook me. I almost couldn’t wait to be a vampire just so I wouldn’t waste all my time crying anymore.