Chapter Two

Spencer’s POV

     I can’t stand this. Why do I feel this way.

     It’s Aiden, he’s always pressuring me into giving it up to him. I’m not ready, and I don’t think I’ll ever be ready with him because I don’t love him. I’m waiting to find someone I love and who loves me back to go all the way. But Aiden says you don’t have to be inlove to have sex. Well excuses me, but I think you do.

     I’m not even sure if I like him as a boyfriend anymore. There’s something about him that I know he’s hiding from me and I don’t like it. Part of me thinks he’s just hiding behind that romantic, and sweet figure and he’s just using me. Sometimes it deffinatley feels like that.

     But it’s not just Aiden, it’s Ashley. Ashley Davies. She’s the other half of my confusement state of mind. I saw her today, just like I normally do. I don’t know her very well but I think she’s amazing, from what I do know. She’s absouletly stunning, I mean she’s just wow… beautiful brown curls, piercing brown eyes, a bone structure to die for, and most deffinately a killer body. I’m more attracted to her then I am my own boyfriend, and that’s what’s so confusing.

     I’ve never felt the way I do for Ashley for anyone. I’ve heard alot about her. I know she’s gay. So what, I’m starting to question myself on that topic. I hear she has a reputation for sleeping with girls. I’m not saying I don’t fully believe this, but when I see her almost every day at the beach with her notebook just embracing the california feel, I don’t see the bad ass Ashley that everyone talks about. I see a different side, a more stable and suttle side of her.

     That’s what I try to look for whenever I see her around school. I always find myself staring at her in class, just trying to figure her out, and when she catches me, I can’t help but blush and look away. She’s pretty cocky too, and full of herself. I think it’s cute.

     In class she’ll be the one to say something like, "Mr….Uhh.." She’ll stop to look around the room. "Rogers." I’ll whisper to her. "Right." She says pointing her finger at me, "Mr. Rogers, do you think it’s right that I get in trouble for things I never even did?" She questions the man. "No Ashley, I don’t think you should be getting in trouble for something you didn’t do." He tells her, she’ll lean back in her chair and say, "Good, because I didn’t do my homework." Smirking at the teacher while the kids laugh at her joke, she’ll turn to me and give me the best smile I’ve ever seen from her.

     How come I can think so much about her and never get tierd of it, but when I think of Aiden I just push it away. I’m actually getting really tierd of him asking me when we’re going to do it. It’s really annoying, and it’s not just him either, Madison gets on my nerves too. She’ll always say something like, "Girl how can you pass on something like Aiden Dennison? You know plenty of girls would do anything to be in your position hun. You should really just sleep with him."

     I hate that. All I want to do is shout in her face and say, "I won’t sleep with him because I don’t love him! If plenty of girls would kill to have him, then they can have him! They’re all sluts anyway!" But I don’t. Why? I don’t know. I think I’m just scared. Scared that I’m feeling things for a girl that I barley talk to, and I don’t know why I’m so into her.

     Aiden’s becoming more of a sheild to me then a boy friend. I’m using him just like I assume he’s using me. But it won’t be this way for long because either I have sex with him or he breaks up with me. Or I break up with him and face the fact that I’m gay. At least I think I am.

End of Chapter Two