I wasn’t strong enough and although this realization unnerved me, it was the truth. The brutal truth. The little encampment felt to small for my troubles. I was suffocating in my own troubled whirlwind of feelings, anxieties, and strange sensations I couldn't name, identify or overcome. My clenched fists expanded and contracted of their own volition.

The strong emotions were too much with me. The strength of the warring compulsions permeated my every thought, nagging me relentlessly, piercing through my rational mind. My head buzzed uncontrollably, jumping from one point of focus to another. It seemed the more that I resisted, the worse it became. Memories, images, thoughts, words, feelings came and went as they pleased. The intensity was beyond distracting.

And, the matter was clear. I didn’t have enough discipline to control these feelings. Perhaps a vampire could only handle so many human emotions, so much anxiety, so much feeling? Had I reached my limit? Yes, perhaps that was it…I've finally reached my maximum level of anxiety. No. That wasn't true. I was going to keep my head clear and my composure intact.

I was not just anxious. It was worse, much worse. The emotions I was trying to ignore weren't just strong, they had a life of their own; bubbling to the surface like some vile plague. They were ugly. Resent…and…jealousy, the twin harbingers of my relentless self-hatred and insecurity. But…despite my feelings, there were other masters at work here. It was instinct that pushed me to rebel. Instinct and the biological need to fight for survival. And, without Bella survival was…impossible.

Jacob Black was a threat to me, to her, to our future together. Every fabric of my being screamed to resist her urges to trust him. Everything I knew and felt eschewed the very idea of placing her in his care, even if it was necessary, even if she was safe, even if he was careful. Nothing was stronger than my instinct to reclaim her from his hold as he’d strode away with her in the clearing, smug and self-assured. It had taken every bit of my control to maintain my careful departure. And, as I'd walked away and even now…the image of the look on his face was a relentless idée fixe.