Every day was the same – cocktail of drugs, interrogation by the doctor, more drugs, then sleep. I barely knew who the hell I was, let alone the answer to the questions they asked.

The orderly – he was new, or at least I’d never seen him before – released my restraints and guided me to the bathroom, waited outside the door, then helped me back to the bed. But instead of replacing the restraints, he just sat there, his eyes appraising.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. “Want one?” he asked as he lit his and blew the smoke out to the side.

I hated smoking, so why my hand reached out and took the offered cigarette was beyond me, but it did.

“I’m Dylan.”

“Hey.”

“So you can talk. Everyone says your mute.”

“I just haven’t had much to say,” I replied before taking a deeper drag of the menthol which was making me a bit dizzy, but at the same time relaxed.

“You play cards?”

“Nope.”

“Wanna learn?”

“Sure, sure.” Ugh, Jacob rearing his ugly, traitorous head.

He explained the rules to Spades, and the next thing I knew, hours had passed and I’d lost the game, but for one full hour, I’d been completely distracted as Dylan made small talk. He hadn’t given me my dose of drugs, so my head was clearer than it’d been in a long time, and still I hadn’t thought about Him, until Dylan smiled and said goodnight leaving me with my now clear thoughts, dark thoughts. His face filled my mind as vividly as though he were standing feet from me, with an accusing look. How dare I enjoy Dylan’s company? it said plainly.

“Don’t you dare,” I hissed under my breath. “You left me. If I want to play a game of cards with someone, I will, and you will not make me feel guilty about it.”

I closed my eyes and forced the vision away, focusing instead on the sandy blonde hair that fell messily across Dylan’s forehead, skimming his green eyes. The way his left side of his mouth pulled up higher when he smiled and the dimple on his right. The smell of his Calvin Klein cologne.