“What happened to you Ash?”

My little black heart, breaks apart,
with your big mouth.

And I’m sick of my sickness
Don’t touch me, you’ll get this.
I’m useless, lazy, perverted,
and you hate me.

Stupid song…

You can’t save me,
You can’t change me,
Well I’m waiting for my wakeup call,
And everything, everything’s my fault.

“You’re too young Spencer.” I mumbled and closed my eyes. The bed shook as she laughed.

“Too young? You think I’m too young? I put up with your shit and now you think I’m too young to know why you’re acting bi-polar. I’m so tired of this. We haven’t even been together for a day and you’re already running. You- you know what, get out.”

“What? Baby…”

“Get out Ashley! Come back when you trust me.” She doesn’t even know…

“You know what, fuck you Spencer! Fuck you! You don’t even know happened to me…” I began to angrily wipe at tears. The tears came harder as the more memories poured in.

“Baby? What happened?” I didn’t hear her really, my mind way somewhere else…

“You right… You’re better off with out me.” My shoulders slumped as I made my way to the door.

“Is that what you think? Because you’re never…” getting away from me? Do you here that? No one can help you… “of me.”

Went to the doctor, and I asked her,
to make this stop. (whoa)
Got medication, a new addiction,
Fucking thanks a lot.

She quickly wrapped her arms around my waist, I jerk in surprise, but she wouldn’t let go… I was trapped, I can’t, can’t, can’t, trapped, get out, trapped… “Please, please, let… let me, I’m, I’m sorry, Let, Let me gooo!” I wailed. The arms trapping me let go quickly. Franticly, I looked around. Where, where am I? I don’t know how to get home? I tired to open the door. No, no, no! I cried harder. It’s locked. I started clawing and pounding at it.

I had to relapse, I’m bad at rehabs
It ruins everything. (whoa)
So point your finger, at the singer,
He’s in the pharmacy.

“Ashey? Baby? Ssshhh, you’re safe.”

You can’t save me,
You can’t change me,
Well I’m waiting for my wake up call,
and everything’s my fault.

You can’t save me,
You can’t blame me,
Well I’m waiting here to take a fall,
and everything, and everything’s my fault.

I dropped to the floor. Tired, so tired. My panic attack drifting away…

And I’m a death threat haven’t slept yet,
Baby why the wake up call
I’m the bad boy tell the tabloids
everything’s my fault.

Whoa whoa whoa yeah, write it write it,
Whoa Whoa whoa everything’s my fault,everything’s my fault.

I wasn’t reliving everything, but I could still see it happening, dully through my hazy vision. I could see me… in the room… and I could see ….

I went to heaven, but couldn’t get in,
For what I have done.
I said please take me, they said you’re crazy
you had too much fun.

You can’t save me,
You can’t change me,
Well I’m waiting for my wake up call,
and everything’s my fault.

You can’t save me,
You can’t blame me,
Well I’m waiting here to take a fall,
and everything, everything’s my fault.

You can’t save me,
You can’t change me,
You can’t save me,
You can’t change me,
You can’t save me,
You can’t change me,(everything’s my fault)
You can’t save me,
You can’t change me,

Everything’s my fault.

“Ashley? Ashley! Wake up! Wake up Ashley!”