Spencer took her in her arms and caressed her lovingly. “You just need to get your mind off it.” She murmured near her ear. “Sing me something.”

Ashley opened her mouth and softly sang the first thing that came to mind. “I saw a star beneath the stairs glowing bright before descent
and in the morning there is nothing left but what’s inside of me.” She closed her eyes and could hear the music in her mind, she felt Spencer’s lips on her temple and melted further into the blonde. “Am I the star beneath the stairs? Am I a ghost upon the stage? Am I your anything?” The rock star stopped and drew back, she all of a sudden became uncomfortable and got off the bed, her eyes staring into Spencer’s concerned face. “Why is this happening to me now?” She asked helplessly. “Spencer I’ve never had a problem with anxiety and stress and now I’m having a panic attack every other fucking day!”

Spencer got off the bed and pulled Ashley back into her arms. The rock star was getting upset and that wasn’t good for her worsening panic condition. Spencer hated what Ashley was going through and how the rock star was handling it. The panicky feelings trigged Ashley’s need for a couple of drinks, the blonde knew that was no way to treat anxiety, but didn’t say anything. Ashley had refused to see a doctor or psychiatrist, claiming she was fine. “Relax Baby, I know it’s hard but you’ll get through it.” She led them back to bed and waited until Ashley got settled before joining her. The room was quiet as Ashley stared up at the ceiling, trying hard not to think about cocaine, it didn’t happen. She wanted more than anything to go out and get high, fuck the panic attacks, she thought bitterly knowing the cocaine would make them go away. Which was ironic since using was the reason she was having them. “You’re mother called earlier today.” The blonde murmured while running her fingers up and down Ashley’s arm.

“Oh yeah? What’d she say?”

“I didn’t answer it, but Ashley you need to call her back.” The blonde felt the rock star slightly stiffen, she shifted on her forearms and stared down into her lover’s face. She didn’t understand what Ashley was hiding from. Her mother had left several messages for her, Ashley didn’t respond to any of them. The blonde didn’t bother asking her girlfriend more than once about it. The first time she flatly answered with a ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ “I think she’s really worried about you.”