she walked quickly and appeared to have no care in the world. i couldn’t help staring at her smooth, sexy legs. anger seared through me because i knew i could never touch them. i wanted a sign hanging above spencer that read "i’m ashley’s." the thoughts depressed me so i tried to focus on what she was going to say to me. when she finally reached me, neither of us spoke for a few minutes. i inhaled deeply and broke the silence between us,

"what um… what do you want?" i could see that she was searching for the right words. i prepared for more rejection. i knew i wouldn’t be able to hold my tears much longer.

"ash… i’m so sorry, for everything. i’m sorry we can’t… can’t be together and i’m so very sorry if i’ve hurt you… i’m sorry i can’t… i don’t… love you that way." a tear spilled from her eye. her stuttering continued

"i don’t wanna lose our friendship." i stared at her beautiful face wanting to hold it in my hands and reassure her. i knew, however, that was something i just couldn’t do.

"spence… you don’t get it do you? it’s not possible for me to turn off my feelings for you. not possible! you can’t expect us to stay friends, it’s too painful." tears were sliding down my cheeks as well as spencer’s. i hated seeing hurt on her face. sadness overwhelmed me. i had to walk away, deciding that i needed to move on.

"goodbye spencer." i whispered. i ran my finger down her face from her ear to her chin, knowing that it was the last time i’d ever feel her skin under my fingertips. i turned swiftly and walked away, attempting to leave my feelings for her behind. i took another deep breath. i need to leave, i thought. it was past nine so i knew my mom was at work and wouldn’t know if i came home early. i walked to the parking lot, seeing spencer’s sad face in my head. i couldn’t imagine living the rest of my life without her.

"i need a hot shower, lots of movies, and plenty of ice cream…" i said to myself as i headed for home.