Spencer’s pov

 I tried to sleep as i toss and turn. Memories of what i did haunt me like a thef in the night.As i get out of the bed and makes my way over to the photo album as i have done hundereds of times over these last 2 years. the tears fall as i start to remember the family that i gave up on.

I leave the room and make my way to the kitchen to grab my bottle of jack daniels from the fridge

i take the photo album and start to look at the pictures i grab them on by one as i throw them on the floor as i have done hundereds of times before.i see the picture prefect family as there scatter accross the floor thinking to myself.See what ive done,this was my life i take the bottle of jack daniels in my hand open the cap and i take a swig of it as the memories consum me*

Flashback 

Spencer opens her eyes as the mourning sun kisses her skin as she feels the warmth of her lover’s arms beside her. Good mourning beautiful i say to my wife .Mourning love, Ashley says to spencer as she kisses her softly on the nose.that move always made her giggle like a schoolgirl*(back in the present spencer touches her nose as the tears are falling even harder now) how was your night Ashley says to her wife*i smile and say*i slept great as i always do with you in my arms* Ashley smiles her adorable nose crinkle smile and was about to reply when ther hear and a peicering cry from the cradle*

mommmy!!! momma!!

Clay spencer and ashley say in unison as they get up and made there way over to the cradle where 6 month old clay carlin davies is standing in his cradle tryin to reach for Ashley and spencer

Spencer and Ashley walk over to the crib as Ashley picks up baby clay

clay automatcaly snuggles into ashley and sighs

Spencer always found the scene adorable and it made the blone fall inlove with Ashley all over again

End flashback

I continue to stare at was the happest time of my life when i was..still inlove with her and was holding my son..who was name after my brother Clay carlin-davies *sighs* i look at the clock and notices the time..it’s a quater after one in the mourning..i promised Ashley i would never call but with the alchol in my blood and the fact im so alone i decide that i cant take this anymore and take the plunge*i stumble through the dark in search for my phone after a few minutes of serching i found it on my coffie table in the living room.

Ah found it..ow stupid foot*says to myself as i stub my foot on what seems like the coffie table. as my fingers dance around the phone typeing the number that i know by heart a little part of me is feeling better with eatch number after a few minutes of looking at my cell phone as the number on it i fanilly decided to press call.

Ring(i hold my breath)….ring*i heart my beating loud*….ring*my heart is now in my thoart as i hear the husky yet heart warming voice of the women who i gave up on 2 years ago

Hello this is Ashley Daves-Valdez i cant come to the phone right now so please leave a message after the beep

Ashley remarried..crap she moved on*she says this to herself when she heard davies-Valdez Beep.  as the answering machene bring spencer out of her daze

um hello Ashley it’s spencer*sighs*you told never to call you… and i now it’s a quater after one in the mourning..but im alone and i need you now Ashley…and ive lost all control i know what i did Ashley and im going to leave with the regreat..beep the ansering machene finshes the message as spencer throws her phone on the floor and collespes on the couch the weight of her mistakes makes standing impossable.

That was my life i had everything but i diddnt know it then.When Ashley music carrer fell through and my movie carrer never took off life was hopeing it would we ran out of money fast thats when we started to fall apart