I sing and you produce, however inside this company, you are looked at as the higher power.

I see the way you look at her when she is singing. Half of a smile, A little bit of light in your eye and a shaking in your hand. I keep convincing myself its nothing, and im probably right. It is nothing and you love me more than anything else, and you could never imagine loosing me. However, it always sounds like a fantasy in my head, the kind that ends ‘happily ever after’ and then there are no more pages to turn. No more to read. There is always more to read. Only death can truly end a story. All characters must die before the story ends in a way that leaves no laces untied.

Thats it, thats what life is. It is a book, not a fairy tale, but a horror story built on difference, and hate, along with sadness, fear, anxiety, jelousy, and so many other emotions.

I role my chair behind yours and wrap my arms around you. You freeze up everywhere and i can feel the chills slowly rnning through your veins. You smile signaling that it isnt anything bad. I smile back although you arent watching me. I press my lips to the nape of your neck lightly. My eyes wander to your lips as your head turns. They have parted and you are gasping for air. I continue sucking at your skin, but you pull away.

"Ash, im working" Yeah, well you’re always working. I wanted to say that so bad, but i didnt have the heart to.

I just sighed and rolled my eyes in my own unique way, the way that nikki stole, and head towards the door. "Im going to uh, go get something from the machines." I slumpily began heading out the door. It was obviouse that my attitude had no bearing on you whatsoever.

"Ash?" maybe it did. I turned around to look at you, but you never looked away from your ‘project’. I only prayed this girl was just a project. "Could you grab me something?" I nodded my head and left the room. I leaned against the door and took a few deep breaths. It was like i was just learning how to breath. Just now feeling the air enter and escape. For the first time.

Just as I begin catching my breath i am approached by some bright and cheery woman wearing a smile bigger than Pamela Andersons’…-, nevermind. "Ashley," She began sperating the papers in her hands. A small stack in the left and a large stack in the right. "Congradulations. You are going on tour. Here are your dates, appearances, times, all that good stuff." She handed me the smaller stack. I looked almost happy for a second. "And would you give this to miss Carlin?" She handed me the larger stack.

i wanted to smack the smile from her face and tell her to back off of me and deliver it herself, but somehow i have controlled myself. "Sure." She kept the smile but nodded and walked away. Thank god.

I walked to the vending machine with thoughts rolling around in my head. How would we deal with being apart? Maybe you could go on tour with me. It would be perfect. Time alone in a moving house on wheels then i would play at night and come back to the moving house and we could have amazing sex in the small room in the back. If i could get you to leave your work…

TBC