"I think you should go for it i mean you only live once and what if you miss your opportunity and you never get the chance again,” she says looking into my eyes i just shrug it off and ask my next question.

"Were you in a relationship when you came here?" i ask and she just looks down i can tell she was expecting the question but didn’t quite know how to answer it what could be so hard i mean she either did or she didn’t

"Well kind of it’s complicated i was until about two weeks before i came here then we decided it would be best if we ended it cause if we found new people we neither of us wanted to cheat on the other so we thought it would be easier to do it this way" she answers looking up from her lap and i see sadness in her eyes it makes me feel sick i never want to see sadness in her eyes i just want to see the twinkle she has in them when she smiles.

"I see so how long were you together” I ask digging for more info

"Nu uhh Carlin my go" she says smiling

"Fineee what’s your next one but just know that’s my next question" i say with a small smile, she just nods and continues.

"How many serious relationships have you had?" she asks looking straight into my eyes

"Oh that’s simple, none ive had relationships but i define serious as in love or the prospect of love being there and i just haven’t found that yet" i answer honestly. She nods looking at me like she knows what i mean maybe she thinks the same thing.

"Ok soo i know your next one and 6 months and 3 weeks is the answer to that i wasn’t in love with her or anything serious like that i was just comfortable but it felt good just to have something stable there you know something you can always count on being there if all else fails" she says honestly and OMG she said her i was so caught up in the honesty of her answer that i didn’t even notice, she likes girls maybe she could grow to like me or maybe she already does ‘ no carlin who are you kidding she doesn’t see you like that’ i think to myself, i must have been in my thoughts too long because before i knew it there was a hand on my chin lifting my face and she looks scared like she said something she shouldn’t have but my minds working over time i cant speak next thing i know she’s saying "sorry it shouldn’t have come out like that im sorry if i freaked you out" i still cant speak my mind is just blank i know i should say something i can see tears building in her eyes and it hurts to watch but my mouth just wont let the words out that i want to speak so badly it wont let me tell her that its ok and im not freaked out im just shocked i didn’t expect this at all. Next thing i know she’s stood up " god i am such an idiot i am soo sorry Spence" were the words that left her mouth as she ran into the bathroom and locked the door, im still there glued in the same position i need to get up and tell her that it’s gonna be ok im here and i think its time i told her about me its not fair making her feel what i felt 2 years ago when i told my friends that feeling is awful and i wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. I stand up making my way to her bathroom door.

"Ash come out please im sorry i just wasn’t expecting that im sorry" i say with nothing but sorrow in my voice thinking of the pain i saw in her eyes about 30 seconds earlier. There’s no answer until i hear her sniffing and sobbing. " Ash please ill knock the door down if its necessary im really sorry but there’s nothing for you to be sorry for just please come out" i say sliding down the door to a sitting position my back against the door, next thing i know there’s a single tear sliding down my face. I hear the door unlock i stand up and turn as the door opens and there standing head down is Ashley and i swear she has never looked more beautiful than she does right now all her cards on the table everything out in the open and i cant help the smile that graces my lips i take a step forward put my hand to her chin lift her face up my eyes meeting hers " don’t ever be sorry for being who you are" i say softly looking into her eyes moving forward i put my arms around her waist and pull her into the most heartfelt hug i have ever given anyone i feel her tears on my shoulder but the quickly subside. I pull out of the hug looking her in the eyes once more.

"Ash there’s something i should tell you,” i say taking a deep breath.

TBC