There was not a single part inside of me that could, for the love of anything, speak. I should be more panicked than what I am. I should be in shock for not being able to speak. To talk. To let out a single word. But I’m not. I’m thinking that if I talk I might scare away the tiny part of her that is still here with me. If I talk she might leave. If I would have the ability to actually verbalize my thoughts she might run away. So I keep it closed. I keep myself silent. I keep myself inside.

I hear Aiden clearing his throat. Letting us know that he is still with us. Letting us know that the silence will be broken. Pulling us back inside. Pulling us back into reality.

“I should go.”

And that was it. That’s all he said. Three words and he’s off. Walking away. One sentence and he threw us back inside. Closing the door. Taking the key with him. Leaving the walls for us to tear down.

I don’t know what she is doing here. I suddenly get this feeling that tells me I might be intruding on a moment I should not be inside. A moment I should not be included in. Maybe she comes here often. Maybe it’s her first time here since our kiss. I don’t know and I can’t seem to follow the answers that her feet are trying to reveal.
I can’t seem to grasp anything.

She speaks again. I don’t know if it’s soft. I don’t know if it’s harsh. I can’t tell them apart. But she speaks and I’m afraid of the answer she is looking for. I’m afraid of the hole she is building.

“What are you doing here?”

She hasn’t looked up yet. Still standing by the little crater that keeps getting bigger and bigger by the second. Quicksand swallowing us both.

I don’t know what kind of answer she is waiting for but I know that I have to be honest. To her. And to myself. What felt like hours have passed since she turned up and I’m starting to get the familiar sensation of a voice building inside. A voice speaking. Coming to life.