Ashley’s POV:
I can’t believe it. I can’t believe that I almost forced myself upon the one person I actually care about in life. I tried not to cry as I shut the door behind me once I got to my apartment. I slumped down into the armchair, putting my head in my hands. I really hope that Spencer will forgive me for that. I know what happened, though. I’m going into a heat cycle, and that passionate kiss I just shared with her set off the start of it. All I knew was that hormones started driving me crazy; I felt the undeniable need to have sex with her at all costs, which is why I almost did rape her. Thankfully I’m just starting to go into heat, so I managed to snap out of it before I did something I’d regret. Later on though, I won’t be able to snap out of it. I hate living with this curse imposed on me from the days of the project. It prevents me from being able to live a normal life; it keeps me from being able to just be with Spencer out in the open. Not that we’re officially together or anything, though. I just wish we were. Rex whined, cocking his head as he looked at me. I reached out to pet him, but I could see my hand start shaking. I was already starting to sweat. Pheromones. I was releasing a ton of them- it would attract others to have sex with me. “No.” I groaned. I wouldn’t be able to see Spencer for about a week now. I would have to wait till it was over, because I had to protect her from that side of me. I had almost hurt her today already. I couldn’t sit still; I could feel that uneasy tension seize my body again. I couldn’t relax at all; it felt like the room was burning up by the second, when in reality, it was really just me.

I had to go out and get what I needed, before things got worse and I just seized any girl off the street and raped her. Part of me felt guilty, because it seemed like I wasn’t being faithful to Spencer. But technically it wasn’t infidelity; we weren’t actually together, and it was necessary for me to do this with other people in order to prevent her from getting hurt. I hated how heat caused me to blindly be driven by passion against my own will. Sure, I could fight off the urges during the first few hours, but gradually it became more and more unbearable. My judgment is soon completely diminished. Heat leaves me in a vulnerable stage this way. I tried to be easy as I could on the girls I picked up, but believe me; it’s easier said than done. During heat, I can go on for more than just a couple hours straight. Periodically I get out of bed for food, showers, and all that stuff. I also replace partners after one starts getting beat up or worn out. I know if Spencer ever found out she wouldn’t understand. She’d think I was some twisted sex addict/rapist. I decided I had to go out now before things progressed and got steadily worse. I walked out onto the street, feeling slightly overwhelmed. My body was telling me I had to do one thing, while my mind was trying its best to resist for Spencer. This is my “gaydar”, I guess you could call it. My sweat. After I work out or go into heat, I can always tell which girls are gay- the ones that turn their heads and check me out hungrily; all those pheromones being released drives them crazy, I guess. One more thing about being superhuman: your sexual abilities are all way more heightened than that of ordinary people. Several girls walking over from NYU stared at me. I resisted the temptation to take them home. Not a very smart move to sleep with people who are going to crop up at your work. I was going to either have to go get some call girls or find some stranger pretty soon though, because I could feel myself starting to slip away again. This was going to be a long week.