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North of Somewhere: All Grown Up – (Chapter: Letting Go…)
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“I guess she didn’t get the memo.”
Spencer sighed. She was tired of having to have these conversations. She was tired of answering to all the women in her life. Ashley, Lindsay, Rachel, Ashley again and now Lindsay wanted back in the picture. Enough was…
“Enough.”
“Enough what?” Ashley asked, looking Spencer directly in the eyes.
“I’ve had enough of…of…this. The confrontations, the lying, the fighting, the drama…I’m tired of it.”
“What does that mean?”
“I need some time to figure out what I want. I haven’t been by myself in years. I need some time to answer to myself—only myself.”
“You’re leaving me.”
“I need some space. That’s not to say that I don’t want to be with you because I do. But this time if we’re going to do it right, I need to do this.”
Ashley allowed a single tear to exit stage left down the side of her face. She was hurt, she was frustrated, she was…angry.
“Fuck you, Spencer Carlin. I’m done.”
“Ash…”
“No, no…I’m serious. I’m not doing this anymore. It’s over. I’ve spent the last ten years wrapped up in you like you were everything. And now you stand in front of me and tell me that you’re still not sure? I don’t think so.”
Spencer knew that the situation called for more than words. She grabbed Ashley’s shoulders, kissing her hard and fast, pushing her back onto the bed with the weight of her body.
“What are you doing?” Ashley asked, suddenly flat against the bed.
“Who knows?”
“This is a bad idea.”
“This is my only idea,” Spencer said, resting her face in the crook of Ashley’s neck, inhaling her and memorizing the scent the best she could. After a minute or so, she felt Ashley’s squirm beneath her. “No.”
“Spencer, I have to get up.”
“No, wait.”
“Wait? Are you fucking kidding me?”
“I’m not moving.”
Ashley grabbed Spencer’s wrists forcefully, careful not to hurt the blonde but letting her know she was serious, “You did this, not me. And if this is what you want…if being by yourself is what you really want then you have to let me go. It’s time for me to be happy too.”
“I know.”
“Do you?”
“Yeah, I do. It’s just hard.”
“Spencer, it’ll take me awhile to accept this, but I understand it. And even though everything in me is screaming at me to somehow make you reconsider…I know it’s the right thing for you to do.
“I can call a cab if you want. I know you probably don’t want me to stay.”
“No, I want you to stay…at least for tonight,” Ashley replied, making room for her in the queen-size bed.
“Thank you,” Spencer said, before crawling in beneath the layers and next to Ashley, thankful for the warmth.
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Great Update. keep up the good work. Can’t wait for the next chapter. PMS real Soon.
spence get ur shit together now or let her go
Great Update. keep up the good work. Can’t wait for the next chapter. PMS real Soon.
spence get ur shit together now or let her go
Oh for God’s sake, this is getting too much! Can Spencer please see how much Lindsay has fucked her around and start to realise that it’s Ashley who’s been there when it really mattered! I swear this is more dramatic than going to an all girls high school!
Oh for God’s sake, this is getting too much! Can Spencer please see how much Lindsay has fucked her around and start to realise that it’s Ashley who’s been there when it really mattered! I swear this is more dramatic than going to an all girls high school!
Ah Newcomer1 and I are having similar thoughts. Spencer is more jacked up then a skank in a crack house. I hope she brightens up before morning and realizes that if she lets Ash go this time she won’t get her back again.
Ah Newcomer1 and I are having similar thoughts. Spencer is more jacked up then a skank in a crack house. I hope she brightens up before morning and realizes that if she lets Ash go this time she won’t get her back again.
Letting the people in your life go and seeking what you want is the healthiest thing to can do for yourself. All the ghosts that live in the closet of your heart tend to disappear with the right amount of seperation and perspective. Spencer needs a break from the madness that is Ashley, Lindsey and Rachel, in order to find herself and truly allow her heart to be honest with whom she loves. I’m all for the separation, unfortunately, she may lose Ashley and I totally agree with “thebestofs”, perhaps Ashley and Spencer weren’t meant to be. You write it so well…PMS
Letting the people in your life go and seeking what you want is the healthiest thing to can do for yourself. All the ghosts that live in the closet of your heart tend to disappear with the right amount of seperation and perspective. Spencer needs a break from the madness that is Ashley, Lindsey and Rachel, in order to find herself and truly allow her heart to be honest with whom she loves. I’m all for the separation, unfortunately, she may lose Ashley and I totally agree with “thebestofs”, perhaps Ashley and Spencer weren’t meant to be. You write it so well…PMS
I don’t know what to say honestly…It might be best that Spencer has her space, but at what cost? It’s going to cost her Ashley I know it. And now that Lindsay is in the picture, Ashley won’t trust Spencer all that much…I am also mad that Spencer can’t make up her mind…it’s really quite simple….either you go back to the one that cheated on you and hurt you, or you go to the one you know will never hurt you , and treat you right…what is so difficult…why Spencer makes things more difficult than they are is beyond me….I have a feeling that Spashley might not prevail in this story…but at the same time I don’t want Lindsay and Spencer hooking up….I would rather have no Spashley than Spencer hook up with Lindsay…..I might project-tile vomit if you do that…I feel bad for Ashley…I don’ think Spencer realizes how much she is hurting Ashley right now, or how much she is holding her back…I think maybe Ashley needs to take a break too because like she said, “she deserves happiness too,” and it looks like Spencer cant give it to her….Spencer really needs to make up her mind because she is going to lose the only person that ever really loved her, and would do anything for her…that seems like a lot to gamble with…she better decide before it’s too late…awesome post…pms
I don’t know what to say honestly…It might be best that Spencer has her space, but at what cost? It’s going to cost her Ashley I know it. And now that Lindsay is in the picture, Ashley won’t trust Spencer all that much…I am also mad that Spencer can’t make up her mind…it’s really quite simple….either you go back to the one that cheated on you and hurt you, or you go to the one you know will never hurt you , and treat you right…what is so difficult…why Spencer makes things more difficult than they are is beyond me….I have a feeling that Spashley might not prevail in this story…but at the same time I don’t want Lindsay and Spencer hooking up….I would rather have no Spashley than Spencer hook up with Lindsay…..I might project-tile vomit if you do that…I feel bad for Ashley…I don’ think Spencer realizes how much she is hurting Ashley right now, or how much she is holding her back…I think maybe Ashley needs to take a break too because like she said, “she deserves happiness too,” and it looks like Spencer cant give it to her….Spencer really needs to make up her mind because she is going to lose the only person that ever really loved her, and would do anything for her…that seems like a lot to gamble with…she better decide before it’s too late…awesome post…pms
I was really scared when I read about the weekend being a weekend of honesty. Apparently, I was right to be scared. I agree with Spencer that enough is enough. She’s been caught in this vicious cycle between the women in her life and she needs to fix it. She needs to decide what she wants once and for all. I see where Ashley is coming from too because Spencer has always been what she wanted but Spencer hasn’t never been sure that she wants Ashley. I don’t necessarily think that Linsay and Spencer are supposed to be together. I think it’s really convenient that Lindsay decides she wants Spencer only when she’s with Ashley. Or at least it appears that way. I’ll be honest, I’m a die-hard Spashley fan. There’s no other pairing for me. But I get that they need to break up for now so Spencer can make a decision. The Spashley fan in me really, really wants that decision to be Ashley. I just hope that Ashley hasn’t moved on yet because she’s tired of Spencer leading her on. Anyway, great story. Now I’m ending this very long comment.
I was really scared when I read about the weekend being a weekend of honesty. Apparently, I was right to be scared. I agree with Spencer that enough is enough. She’s been caught in this vicious cycle between the women in her life and she needs to fix it. She needs to decide what she wants once and for all. I see where Ashley is coming from too because Spencer has always been what she wanted but Spencer hasn’t never been sure that she wants Ashley. I don’t necessarily think that Linsay and Spencer are supposed to be together. I think it’s really convenient that Lindsay decides she wants Spencer only when she’s with Ashley. Or at least it appears that way. I’ll be honest, I’m a die-hard Spashley fan. There’s no other pairing for me. But I get that they need to break up for now so Spencer can make a decision. The Spashley fan in me really, really wants that decision to be Ashley. I just hope that Ashley hasn’t moved on yet because she’s tired of Spencer leading her on. Anyway, great story. Now I’m ending this very long comment.