Another eye roll successfully fought off before Talise replies, "good," and returns to her pork chop. I’m settling for salad at this point.

"Now don’t be shy, and tell us about your day," my mother cajoles. You’d think that after eleven years, she would learn that, for Talise, food is more important than conversation.

"I took Ashley to get her driving test, went to the beach, and had an ice cream," Talise says with a stifled sigh.

The salad dressing is just plain weird, but force my unruly taste buds to tolerate it.

"And how did your test go, Ashley?" I’m surprised that she even said anything to me. Remember, swallow then talk.

"I passed and-"

"That’s nice," my mother says and turns to ask Waldo how far he’s gotten on Halo-something, (what is it anyways now? 15?).

As usual, my mother makes some comment about us all being such a wonderful family. That makes my blood boil. It always does and always will. We are not all one big wonderful family at all. Joe is not my father. I love my Dad. He calls me every night even though he’s on tour. Christine likes to blame their divorce on his singing career, but as far as I’m concerned, that’s just to cover up the fact that she was cheating on him.

Here’s the family story: Aiden and Talise are twins from Joe’s first marriage. They have the similar dark hair, carved features, and clear gray eyes. Their mother died after giving birth, but not before naming them "little fire" and "beautiful water" respectively. The two now "spend the rest of our lives getting our names butchered by the ignorant population" according to Talise. Aiden’s a jerk and Talise is a grammar Nazi.

Only a few months after the twins’ birth, my mother, award-wining actress and model Christine Woods, had me with my father, rock star Raife Davies. I was born with Dravet’s syndrome and had my first seizure at 5 months. While I’ve never been told this in so many words, I’m pretty sure that for my mother, who was never a baby person to begin with, this was the last straw. She began an affair not long after with widower Joseph Dennison. An affair that lasted 7 years and resulted in the births of Kyla, Benjamin, and Wallace Dennison (though Kyla prefers to take her/my mother’s name).