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    Runt of the Litter – (Chapter: 8. Actor's Mask)

    The rest of the room is filled with the tinkle of china and polite laughter. Uncles chuckle majestically (or at least they think they do) and try to tell their nieces about how their uncle took them fishing once. Nieces barely listen. Parents brag and admonish their kids. Kids ask, "can I be excused now?"

    These people aren’t my family. I’ve got half their genes at the most. Talise and I don’t share anything but a room and asocial tendencies. What right do they have to judge me? What do I owe them? Love? Respect? Devotion? Why? What have they done for me?

    My father is the only family I’ll ever have, and he’s never here. He’ll call tonight, and I’ll tell him that everything is great, don’t worry, and that I love him. I won’t tell him that everyone wants me to fail so they can say I told you so or that sometimes I feel so lonely that I wonder if I’m human. Sometimes I’m so lonely I’m not sure if I’m real.

    You know what? I hate the Carlins, the stupid family where everyone has the same last name and the same blue eyes. I hate Glen for being so weak that he can’t pick himself up and get over whatever happened to him but instead attacks the world and feels justified. I hate Paula for hating people she doesn’t know and for being one more person who thinks the world would be a better place without me. I even hate Mr. Carlin for being so… so… uninteresting and useless.

    Most of all, I hate Spencer for assuming that I’ll fall into her life like another perfectly-shaped piece on a perfectly-made puzzle. Just because she can hold a pleasant conversation with Madison doesn’t mean I can. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong half the time, but everyone seems to despise me for it. They expect me to get straight A’s because other people can and love my family because other people do. They want me to socialize more, as though I can re-shape my entire world overnight and escape the mold that’s been built for me.

    I hate them all, and that’s okay because they hate me too.

    My grandmother narrows her eyes, "You’re a spoiled child who barely deserves any of what Christine gives you." In the background, Bianca refuses to eat her squash unless Daddy buys her a pony. "You’re a disgrace to this family. I told Christine she was making a mistake taking you in," she hisses.

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