OHioBliz84: what is it just tell me ash.

RoCKrCHiK92: I’m trying ok; my hands are shaking as I’m typing trying to get this out. I’ve waited a long time to tell you this.

RoCKrCHiK92: so the entire truth about everything wasn’t that, I was hiding it inside of myself trying to tell me self that It wasn’t real. But now that I know it is I think I needed to do this. So the complete and honest truth about everything is I fell into a trap with you.

RoCKrCHiK92: more like I fell deeply and madly in love with you.

OHioBliz84: I don’t understand. Ash just tells me what it is.

RoCKrCHiK92: this is it Spence, I’m in love with you and I can’t stop what I do because you over power my self control.

OHioBliz84: so you love me as a role model, friend, BFF?

RoCKrCHiK92: more then that.

OHioBliz84: ok so you’re saying you’re a lesbian and you have a crush on me?

RoCKrCHiK92: at this point I don’t know what I am yet, I’m still figuring that out…but the second part yah.

OHioBliz84: ok then your not gay, you just need to figure out who you are.

RoCKrCHiK92: No! I’m trying to get this out so let me tell you how I really feel… I don’t want to hide it any more.

OHioBliz84: ok well it’s good that you are telling the truth…just as long as you sat down and thought about what you actually want to say to me.

RoCKrCHiK92: I did. I took the time since the summer that I staying in NC

OHioBliz84: well you know hat this is hard for me, you tried to consume my life before, and I can’t let you do that.

RoCKrCHiK92: Ok I know I did and I can’t regret that any more then I already do.

OHioBliz84: don’t regret it ash, just see if from my point of view. I want you to understand why I did what I did.

RoCKrCHiK92: And I agree with what you did, but do you understand why I did it?

OHioBliz84: I’m just really confused right now about this whole thing, you’re not being that clear.

RoCKrCHiK92: ok well u understand that, but I want you to know I have nothing to lie to you about anymore, this was my reason to, and now that you know the truth I don’t have to anymore

OHioBliz84: ok….but I really have to get going

OHioBliz84: I have o work tomorrow

RoCKrCHiK92: ok well thanks for at least trying to understand.

OHioBliz84: yep…

RoCKrCHiK92: byee

OHioBliz84: byee

(OHioBliz84 has signed off at 12:41pm)

There it was, the day Spencer Carlin broke me heart. I sat at my computer for over an hour, until the tears started coming. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I left. I wasn’t sure where I was walking to, but I walked. In the freezing cold weather of winter, I felt like something was missing from my hole of a heart, almost as if telling her only broke me ever more. That’s one thing for sure, if I had her the way I wanted then I would probably be one of the happiest people of earth.