Veronica: “All I’m saying is that she Checked. You. Out! I mean full on feet to head examination. Sparks flew from her eyes, heat radiated from her body, and after you walked away you all about left a Stacy puddle.”

Spencer: “Yeah, but…” Veronica smiles knowingly.

Veronica: “She’s not Ashley?”

Spencer: “I’m being stupid, right?”

Veronica: “Well maybe you’re brother was wrong, I mean you make him sound like kind of an idiot. Maybe her name is Stacy, it’s kinda close to Ashley.”

Spencer: “Yeah, maybe. So how do I look?”

Veronica: “Smashing. And me?” She strikes a pose.

Spencer: “Fabulous!”

Veronica: “Really? I don’t know about these pants, they’re all binding.” She looks down at her clothes.

Spencer: “Come on, Beronica, we got a party to attend.”

August 22, 2009 12:10 am PST

The party is fairly lame. There is no alcohol because it’s a party for freshman and there are no hot girls. I’m standing outside of the frat house talking to this group of guys who swear they’re gonna score some weed, but all they are really trying to do is score. With me. Aiden is somewhere in that monstrous house and I got tired of looking for him. So when some guy asked me if I wanted to smoke I followed him to the front of the house to where his friends were waiting for their weed to arrive.

James: “Dude, I’m wasted!”

Ashley: “Awesome, dude!” I give me my most sarcastic voice.

Chris: “Man, when’s the weed getting here?”

Kevin: “I don’t know man, she said she’d be here soon!”

Chris: “Who exactly did you call bro?”

Kevin: “My great aunt, she gets killer shit.”

Ashley: “Your great aunt?” I stare at him like the crazy person he is.

Kevin: “Yeah, she’s got the hookup. Oh, wait, I think this is her now!”

The most beat-up Volkswagen beetle that I have ever laid eyes on comes put putting up the street. The red and yellow paint looks like it could be peeled off with little effort, the engine sounds like it’s about to fall out, and I can’t even count all the dents.

My already wide eyes get even wider when I see the frail old woman that steps out of the car. She’s wearing ripped jeans, a bright orange halter top, and a yellow bandana that covers the top of her bright red hair that has dreads throughout.