Ashley was different and it had only taken me a split second to realize that she was. In such a short amount of time she had become something that I needed and everything I wanted. I knew I was falling in love with her but I had safely been hiding that fact. I was scared that maybe I was misinterpreting actually falling in love with just the idea of it. Hearing her speak words of giving something she guarded so safely to me brought on instinctual upwelling of fear. The whole situation took on a new light knowing that she was feeling the same for me.

The fear of being hurt, the fear of failing in the eyes of someone you love. Plain, simple and numbing fear. Fear is one of those instinctual emotions that take over with a primal endorphine rush. Fight or flight. Right now those endorphines were rushing through my bloodstream and to my brain. My brain was responding just how it was programmed to do and it saw FLIGHT in a big bold neon sign. I felt my muscles start their contractions, my body was ready to get the hell out of Dodge….only to be shut down.

A new player entered this mind game of mine. One I didn’t think was ready, but it was battling fear bravely and winning. My heart that I still thought so badly broken had been mending while my mind had been pre-occupied with only thoughts of Ashley. My heart, still showing scars, wanted only one thing. Right now Love was kicking Fear’s ass.

The pages of the freeze frame book began flipping faster and faster rushing me right back into real time. I blinked to settle my thoughts and stop the spinning. I felt another tear run out of my eye and across my temple to the sand. Jesus, that was the second time I was crying tonight and all because I was happy. When did I get so damned emotional?

I felt Ashley’s weight lifting off of me. She stood up and turned to the waves leaving me laying in the sand. I sat up quickly. How long had it been since she spoke to me? Did I wait to long?

“Fuck, Spence I am sorry. I am rushing things. You don’t have to answer. That is just how I feel and I know that this whole night has been intense. I didn’t mean to lay it on so thick. I don’t want you to feel pressured, but it just seems like you are really into me too and I wanted to be honest.” Ashley spilled.

I jumped up and spun her around to face me. She looked emotionally spent. Like she had laid everything out there for me, saw a moments hesitation and immediately started damage control to protect her own scared heart.

“This is so not fair right now.” I said quickly.

“I know…you are right. We can totally go.” Ashley said reaching into her pocket for her keys and stepping to the car.

“Damn it Ashley, that’s not what I mean.” I said grabbing her hand and pulling her back to me. She looked into my eyes. I saw the same emotions coursing through her that I had spinning through me. Fear and Love. Tears were leaking out of my eyes a bit faster. God, I was being such a girl right now. “Would you please just give me a chance to answer you?”

She nodded. I gently cupped her face in my hands. “Ash….I am falling in love with you. I want nothing more than to hold your beautiful heart so closely to mine. I would give you mine right now, but you already have it.” I whispered. I was glad to see that I wasn’t the only one crying. I kissed away some of the tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Jesus, you scared me for a second. I just thought I crashed and burned big time.” She said trying to laugh through her tears. “Spence, I have fallen so hard and fast for you and it scares the shit out of me!” I laughed and wiped more tears away with my thumbs. I was so glad to hear that I wasn’t the only one a little scared with the revelations we were going through.

I was dizzy with happiness. I didn’t know how to release all of this emotion. I wanted to pick her up and spin her around in a circle and yell out ’I love Ashley Davies’ like we were in some cheesy love movie.

My mind was spent and I couldn’t think of anything cool….so that is exactly what I did.