"Do you really?" Kerry asked almost idly.

"Or not," Kim muttered to herself, the cool sting of rejection at war with the warmth of her drink. She put her glass down abruptly, was startled to feel the small covering of Kerry’s hand over her own.

"I’m sorry." Kerry stopped her flight before it could even begin. "Knee-jerk, I guess."

"Is it really so hard to believe?"

Kerry shook her head softly, her fingers still brushing absently over Kim’s, seemingly oblivious to the tenderness of the gesture. "Belief…" she mused. "An amorphous concept at best. You know how I like to cling to those medical certainties."

I’m not sure I can offer enough quantitative proof to satisfy you in that regard."

"There’s something to be said in the simple act of coming back for more."

"Especially given my propensity for walking out the door?"

Kerry merely canted her head in agreement, loose ice cubes drying forlornly at the bottom of her glass. "Work," she said at last, startling Kim into catching up with the non-sequitur answer to her almost-forgotten question. "My days, that is. Trying to sort out how much of me is still me."

"Any conclusions?"

"I am still the same doctor I have always been," she replied simply.

"The best one I’ve ever seen." Her ex-lover colored faintly at the quiet praise, and once again Kim was astonished at how completely unremarkable this extraordinary woman considered herself.

"Mostly, though," she continued, giving Kim’s hand a brief squeeze of thanks. "I feel people changing around me."

"How’s it been?"

"Responses have been everything from I always thought you were to requests for dating tips–"

"Malucci strikes again."

"Bless his prurient little heart. The odd recoil or two– sometimes in surprising places. Usually not. But on the whole, it’s just a bunch of people nodding sagely as if the news explained some big mystery about me that they never knew."

"Which, of course, it doesn’t."

"Not even close, I’ve realized." Melting green eyes captured Kim’s gaze, held it there with a hint of a smile and a trace of bemused thoughtfulness. "But you knew that all along, didn’t you?"

******

Abby stopped short as she pushed through the lounge door and saw Carter bent over a stack of charts. "I didn’t know you were still here," she said, surprise overcoming circumspection. He was supposed to have gone off duty hours ago, but here he was– glancing up at her and waving a metal chart.