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The Architecture of Falling… – (Chapter: I Know…)
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“Fuck you, Spencer.”
“I know…”
“No, you don’t know. Fuck you. That’s it, alright? That’s all I have to say to you. Don’t call me ever again. Don’t text me. Don’t e-mail me. Leave me the fuck alone. I’m serious.”
“Wait…Ash, please wait and let me explain.”
“Spencer, are you serious right now? There’s nothing left to say. You have a fucking girlfriend, ok? You fucked me knowing the whole time that you had a girlfriend and to make matters even worse…to make everything a million times worse, you let me…”
“I know! I know that I screwed up big time but I didn’t know that things would happen the way they did. I didn’t know that I would fall in—“
“Don’t. Just don’t. If you care about me at all—and trust me, I doubt that’s the case—you won’t say something that stupid.”
“We’re in an open-relationship.”
“I don’t care.”
“I don’t even love her, Ashley.”
“I don’t care.”
“You have no idea how I feel about you. If you did—“
“I still wouldn’t care.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“The fact that you’re still on the phone with me tells me everything I need to know.”
So she hung up. Just like that she was gone and my theories no longer carried the possibility of being proven true. She disproved them easily with her ability to let go and the sound of the dial tone—which I listened to until I remembered Megan was waiting for me in the cold.
She was always waiting in the cold. And it was almost always because of me and my inability to connect.
Which is why I needed Ashley to listen to the truth. I’ve been in love with her as long as I can remember. I’ve wanted her as long as I’ve known of all the things that could be wanted. And now I’ve ruined everything, because I’ve never known a life that didn’t have an Ashley Davies lying in some fantastical wait. She’s never been an impossibility. I’ve never been her enemy.
I took the stairs as fast as I could to meet Megan, sure that my rapid movements towards her betrayed non-existent excitement. She was no longer hard to convince. My constant push and pull had rendered me an object to be won and our relationship was no longer about the romance of quick smiles and slow fingers. We were involved in narcissistic battle. That very battle is the reason we chose to declare our relationship an open one. We wanted sure feelings one moment and our habitual warfare the next. It was a sadistic game that I almost always won. After all, it was my inconstancy that had been the reason the game had been necessary to begin with.
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damn. spencer .. she’s crazy! loL! anyways. that was .. kinda messed up. and heartless in a way. but it made a little bit happy because she FINALLY admitted her love for ashley. and it should be interesting to see her get her back. she’s really gonna have to fight for her. awesome update! this story is SO amazing! PMASAP!
man spence was really harsh even if she wasn’t in love with megan she shouldn’t of said all the things she did to her.great update!pms!!!
I’m not angry at Spencer, because her broken heart over losing Ashley has rendered her emotionally incapable of making comprehensible decisions. We all have lashed out at others when we are hurting and that is all that Spencer was doing. Spencer loves Ashley with all her heart and she has truly damaged her relationship with the woman she loves and unfortunately she has only herself to blame. However, her emotional state has been stunted by so many past issues, the main one being the loss of her mom and dad which in turn creates fear to love without loss. If you’ve lost someone you love, you’re not so apt to allow yourself to love again. Spencer fell in love with Ashley and now she’s lost her…ask yourself a question and be honest…how would you feel? One of the stages of grief is anger and Spencer was rejected by Ashley…I believe I would be pissed off too and would take it out on the person I was with at the moment. I’m not saying what she did was right, I just understand her actions. I truly loved this amazing update…you take my breath away…PMS
I understand Dallas1111 point of view but I reckon it’s important to remember that this kind of coldhearted attitude has been evident for some time! This was not the first time she has said something horriable and cold, she’s done it before and she’ll do it again if she doesn’t learn to deal with her past and present in a more healthy way! I also agree with what a lot of others have said, Spencer needs to sort herself out before going anywhere near Ash to try and explain herself. I loved this update and can’t wait for the next one – which I hope will be soon ;) Thanks!
Wow, that was way harsh of Spencer to treat Megan like that. Now I feel bad for Megan and Ashley. Truthfully, I feel a little sorry for Spencer too because I think she’s really emotionally wounded from losing her parents. She better find a way to make it up to Ash. This is story is pretty awesome!
Pulls at the heart strings…I’m all about redemption, I love the theme…Spencer has been dealt some crappy cards to play and I can cut her some slack here..I’m just hoping that she can get it togethere and convince Ashley that she really does loves her..guess I’ll just wait and see..”pride goeth before the fall…” after all…PMS
Ouch, that was rough… but honestly I can empathize with the poor girl (i think i’d be a little emotionally hindered if i lost both of my parents)… Like you said goaskalice… “people are made to be redeemed” life would suck without second chances… hopefully spencer will get hers… oh and I absolutely love this story!! your writing is amazing… seriously!
I just wanted to say that I am on deployment in the Middle East and when I have chance to go on the internet I read your stories. This one was great i hope that you update it soon.
Where are you???? Please PMS because I really love this story and I need more of it. It’s so great! So hurry and PMASAP!!!!!!!
damn. spencer .. she’s crazy! loL! anyways. that was .. kinda messed up. and heartless in a way. but it made a little bit happy because she FINALLY admitted her love for ashley. and it should be interesting to see her get her back. she’s really gonna have to fight for her. awesome update! this story is SO amazing! PMASAP!
man spence was really harsh even if she wasn’t in love with megan she shouldn’t of said all the things she did to her.great update!pms!!!
I’m not angry at Spencer, because her broken heart over losing Ashley has rendered her emotionally incapable of making comprehensible decisions. We all have lashed out at others when we are hurting and that is all that Spencer was doing. Spencer loves Ashley with all her heart and she has truly damaged her relationship with the woman she loves and unfortunately she has only herself to blame. However, her emotional state has been stunted by so many past issues, the main one being the loss of her mom and dad which in turn creates fear to love without loss. If you’ve lost someone you love, you’re not so apt to allow yourself to love again. Spencer fell in love with Ashley and now she’s lost her…ask yourself a question and be honest…how would you feel? One of the stages of grief is anger and Spencer was rejected by Ashley…I believe I would be pissed off too and would take it out on the person I was with at the moment. I’m not saying what she did was right, I just understand her actions. I truly loved this amazing update…you take my breath away…PMS
I understand Dallas1111 point of view but I reckon it’s important to remember that this kind of coldhearted attitude has been evident for some time! This was not the first time she has said something horriable and cold, she’s done it before and she’ll do it again if she doesn’t learn to deal with her past and present in a more healthy way! I also agree with what a lot of others have said, Spencer needs to sort herself out before going anywhere near Ash to try and explain herself. I loved this update and can’t wait for the next one – which I hope will be soon ;) Thanks!
Wow, that was way harsh of Spencer to treat Megan like that. Now I feel bad for Megan and Ashley. Truthfully, I feel a little sorry for Spencer too because I think she’s really emotionally wounded from losing her parents. She better find a way to make it up to Ash. This is story is pretty awesome!
Pulls at the heart strings…I’m all about redemption, I love the theme…Spencer has been dealt some crappy cards to play and I can cut her some slack here..I’m just hoping that she can get it togethere and convince Ashley that she really does loves her..guess I’ll just wait and see..”pride goeth before the fall…” after all…PMS
Ouch, that was rough… but honestly I can empathize with the poor girl (i think i’d be a little emotionally hindered if i lost both of my parents)… Like you said goaskalice… “people are made to be redeemed” life would suck without second chances… hopefully spencer will get hers… oh and I absolutely love this story!! your writing is amazing… seriously!
I just wanted to say that I am on deployment in the Middle East and when I have chance to go on the internet I read your stories. This one was great i hope that you update it soon.
Where are you???? Please PMS because I really love this story and I need more of it. It’s so great! So hurry and PMASAP!!!!!!!
wow. You know how to come back…Is it wrong that this chapter made me love Spencer? It is good that she finally let herself love Ash and it is even better that Ashley didnt let her try and solve everything by saying “i love you” how the tables have turned..Spencer better have something planned if she is going to get her back, if she even still has a shot PMASP!!!
wow. You know how to come back…Is it wrong that this chapter made me love Spencer? It is good that she finally let herself love Ash and it is even better that Ashley didnt let her try and solve everything by saying “i love you” how the tables have turned..Spencer better have something planned if she is going to get her back, if she even still has a shot PMASP!!!
spence is mixed up right now she needs ash to break her open but she also needs to do it herself as well pms
spence is mixed up right now she needs ash to break her open but she also needs to do it herself as well pms
Ok, you’re really making me not like Spencer, like at all. She’s such a bitch, that girl didn’t deserve that. Spencer’s like the grinch and I want to slap her right now. It’s not Megan’s fault, she didn’t know about Ashley so the only person Spencer should be blaming is herself. Now that I’ve vented a little…I still feel pissed. Spencer just needs to be alone and get herself together before she can be with Ashley, that is if Ashley even wants Spencer back after all this. I so completely agree with ge97511 and chipsahoy. Ok, I’m done, even though this update really stirred my emotions it was completly AMAZING, your such a great writer and I love this story. PMASAP!!!!!!!
Ok, you’re really making me not like Spencer, like at all. She’s such a bitch, that girl didn’t deserve that. Spencer’s like the grinch and I want to slap her right now. It’s not Megan’s fault, she didn’t know about Ashley so the only person Spencer should be blaming is herself. Now that I’ve vented a little…I still feel pissed. Spencer just needs to be alone and get herself together before she can be with Ashley, that is if Ashley even wants Spencer back after all this. I so completely agree with ge97511 and chipsahoy. Ok, I’m done, even though this update really stirred my emotions it was completly AMAZING, your such a great writer and I love this story. PMASAP!!!!!!!
Ouch! Wow, hate to say it but it seems Spencer is a lost cause in this one. That was a little too hard core…I don’t know. Everyone has been in a relationship with someone they weren’t really that into and had to face facts that the true love just isn’t there. But the way she handled it was just too cold hearted. If there is any redemption for Spencer she needs to deal with her emotions, pain and fear. Then she needs a reality check in the form of romantic failure to balance her previous nature…and if she can successfully deal with that loss in a healthy way…MAYBE then she can have another shot with Ash…maybe…
Ouch! Wow, hate to say it but it seems Spencer is a lost cause in this one. That was a little too hard core…I don’t know. Everyone has been in a relationship with someone they weren’t really that into and had to face facts that the true love just isn’t there. But the way she handled it was just too cold hearted. If there is any redemption for Spencer she needs to deal with her emotions, pain and fear. Then she needs a reality check in the form of romantic failure to balance her previous nature…and if she can successfully deal with that loss in a healthy way…MAYBE then she can have another shot with Ash…maybe…
wow… oh wow that was a side to spencer i dont like… that was harsh and reminded me of my ex which now has me crying like megan.. awww and poor ashley… oi i dont know how spence is goin to fix this… great update PMS
wow… oh wow that was a side to spencer i dont like… that was harsh and reminded me of my ex which now has me crying like megan.. awww and poor ashley… oi i dont know how spence is goin to fix this… great update PMS
*groans* Okay, I don’t know if I should love Spencer because she finally admitted to herself that she loved Ash or despise her for the way she treated Megan. God, that was harsh and that poor girl really didn’t seem to deserve it. I hope Spencer doesn’t go after Ash yet. She needs time to get her shit together. It would suck if she hurt Ash again. I’ll stop rambling now. I really love this. Awesome job!! PMS!!!
*groans* Okay, I don’t know if I should love Spencer because she finally admitted to herself that she loved Ash or despise her for the way she treated Megan. God, that was harsh and that poor girl really didn’t seem to deserve it. I hope Spencer doesn’t go after Ash yet. She needs time to get her shit together. It would suck if she hurt Ash again. I’ll stop rambling now. I really love this. Awesome job!! PMS!!!