"She na runs wahn of me 'ouses. But she's still available if ya wahnt a jolly good shag." (She's running one of her brothels, but she's still available to be fucked.)

All I said was "Sweet!"

Now I know some of you are wondering why am I excited to have sex with a ho? Well here in England there's ten times less people than in America, yet there are ten times more uglier women in England. America may have Mischa Barton but England has Sally Hawkins, Jodhi May, Liz May Brice, etc… And Shareen is a very, very rare beauty here in England. Canada has roughly the same amount of people as England but at least the women are much better looking.

"I kna ya loike me birds since they're the best and cleanest women in aw of Great Britain, but why daan't ya try a sexy woman wif more experience." when she said that she showed her smiled and gave me a wink.

When she told me that at first I was shocked, then I was trying not to throw up, just the thought of fucking that ugly-ass woman with her worn-out, used-up pussy gave me the creeps. God I'm gonna have nightmares tonight.

While still trying to hold my vomit I told Yvonne this: "Yvonne, I'm a good friend of yours and nothing else. You would have better chance of fucking PO Josh Mitchell than me." Josh Mitchell was just a worker for Larkhall prison before he became a Prison Officer. He's a goofy-looking mother fucker who makes weird faces like Rodney Dangerfield when he talks but he's also cool to hang with. Being the horny bitch that she is Yvonne tried to shag him but with his good judgement he turned her down. He got a thing for a former inmate named Crystal Gordon, a Holy-Rolling, zealous, Jesus-freak kleptomaniac who makes Winona Ryder look like a common pick-pocketer. That bitch is always talking about Jesus and how I'm gonna go to hell if I don't repent. I was gonna slap the Black off of that bitch but Josh was able to talk me out of it. How the fuck does Josh put up with that uppity bitch, I'll never know.