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Uncivil Union – (Chapter: Playing Dirty)
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ASHLEY:
“Are you serious?”
“Like Joan Rivers at a Botox convention. Like John Mayer in the first two days of a relationship. Like Amy Winehouse at a…”
“I get it. I get it,” Aiden said, holding up his hands.
“…crack carnival.”
“I can’t believe this.”
“I was only kidding. There’s no such thing as a crack carnival.”
“I’m talking about the fact that you slept with Spencer!”
“Oh, yeah…that.”
“What happened?”
“You really want to know?” I asked as I reached for my coffee mug.
“Of course.”
“Detail by detail?”
“Absolutely.”
“Alright, well…I unbuttoned her pants. She had on this hot…I think it was lace or something. Anyway, I just kind of shoved it to one side and then I took two fingers and…”
“Ok, ok, ok…I know how that happened, Ash. I meant, how did you let it get that far? When did you decide it was acceptable to sleep with her as…as some sort of twisted revenge?”
“I told you! She started it, man. If she hadn’t blue-balled me the night before, I wouldn’t have had to sleep with her.”
“Are you listening to yourself? ‘I wouldn’t have had to sleep with her?’ I mean, come on! This has gone too far and you know it.”
“If you insist.”
“Am I alone here? You don’t think this sounds absolutely ridiculous?”
“If by ridiculous you mean ‘necessary’ then we whole-heartedly agree, my friend. That being said, aren’t these pancakes delicious?” I asked, immersing my breakfast in syrup.
“Ashley…”
“Like, they’re light and fluffy and perfect. See? This is why I love coming here. They understand the complexity of the pancake. I appreciate that. Because it’s an art form. I know you think you know art now since you’ve started dipping your paint brush in an artist , if you know what I mean…”
“Ash…”
“Good syrup too. It tastes rich, you know? Like a fucking tree.”
“You’re complicating an already complicated situation with sex. As usual.”
“Dude, just be a guy for three fucking seconds and ask me how it was.”
“How was it?”
I dropped my voice a couple octaves, “She screamed like a forgotten tea kettle, my friend.”
“Great,” he mumbled, unenthusiastically, “so what now?”
“What do you mean?”
“You two have slept together. That doesn’t change everything?”
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absolutely fuckin awesome! so like ash to try to get the details from carmen to use against spence. this should get really really interesting! and i have to mention that “She screamed like a forgotten tea kettle, my friend” had me howling! great great update. pms!!!
oooooooohhhhhhhh no what’s she gonna do? I’m fearful ‘this will blow up in her face’….LOVED THAT LINE…almost felt a tear drop. anway great update…cant what to see whats gonna happen..god the drama…pms :)
wow that was funny whats she up to now well pms please i love this story its great :)
“She screamed like a forgotten tea kettle, my friend.” Funniest line in fanfic. PMS!
Nooo Carmen. I don’t like her, nothing good will come from her presence. I can’t wait to see what else happens. I love this story. Awesome update. PMASAP!!!
“She screamed like a forgotten tea kettle, my friend” that is the funniest thing ever, made my day again! PMS
She better not fuck dirty Carmen…EW :(
oh man..I’m nervous about where this is heading. Are they ever going to stop hating eachother?
Arrgghh! You know how to lay on the drama don’t you?!? Ashley going anywhere near Carmen is sooo not a good idea….but should be really interesting..That chapter was hilarious..you’ve got a way with words! Looking forward to the next chapter…don’t know how you find the time..very impressive PMS!!
Don’t do it Ashley! I love this!
great update !cant wait till they FINALLY get together!!!!!PMS!!!!!!!
I have just cought up on ur storys ur an amazing writer I can’t wait to find out way Ashley is going to do love it pms asap !!!!!!