“Yeah well I told her I was, truth is I just didn’t feel like going to school today.” She explains.

“Yeah I get it.” I say looking down at my hands.

“Hey Ashley are you staying for dinner?” Paula shouts from the kitchen.

“No thanks P, I should get going soon.” I shout back. I don’t think Spencer would be very welcome to the idea of me staying for dinner, there’s far too much tension here right now.

“So Ash, I didn’t expect to see you today.” Spencer probes.

“Yeah, I didn’t expect I’d be here, but I hadn’t heard from you so…”

“Yeah.” I’m gonna take that as my cue to leave.

“Alright well I’m just gonna go.”

“Ash…”

“No Spencer, it’s fine. I’ll just talk to you…sometime.” Spencer gets up to walk me to the door.

“So…” I start.

“Yeah…”

“I’ll see you around?”

“I’ll see you.”

“Here.” I said as I handed her the folded piece of paper from my back pocket.

“What’s this?” She asked taking it from me.

“It’s…just read it when I’m gone.” I laugh.

“Oh, alright then.”

“Okay bye Spence.”

“Bye Ash” She says as she pulls me in for a long hug. After a while we pull away and I stuff my hands in my pockets and make my way home.

I hope she reads the note and doesn’t just set it on fire. It wasn’t a big romantic love letter; I don’t think I’m in any place to give her one of those. It was just a note to explain myself because I knew she wasn’t ready to let me do that face to face yet.

“Spencer,

I know you don’t know what to make of all of this just yet, to be honest neither do I. But I want you to know that I meant what I said, I love you completely. I’m not sorry for that, I can’t ever be, but I am sorry that you’re confused right now. I just took the best friendship we’ve both had and complicated it so much, if I could make this simpler for you I would. Please don’t hate me for this; I don’t think I could bear it. I don’t expect anything to come of this, nor do I want anything from you, but I am going to ask for one thing. Would you please talk to me? I’m right here with you, no matter what, you’re still my best friend and I’m still yours, and hopefully we can talk through this together. Get in touch when you’re ready.