I sit here tearing napkin after napkin to shreds just anticipating what I hope will be a happy return, but deep within my gut I know it will be anything else but that. How I could do what I have done I seriously have no clue. I left the girl I say I love to fend for herself when she needed me most and it tears me to shreds even more than what I’ve done to the now useless scraps of paper piled on the floor at my feet. Hell my own fucking sister stayed to help, I remember Kyla’s face when I told her I would be going with Christine on her annual European excursion…It was pure disgust. I waited for her to yell or even slap me, but what she did was far worse, just giving me a look of disappointment before she turned on her heel letting out a calm “goodbye Ashley…”

I wonder if she told Spencer where I had gone, I hope she did, maybe I should have. But I had no idea what to tell her, I mean come on she just lost her brother and semi-close friend after all. It’s not like I could walk up to her and go “Golly gee Spence I know Glen and Aiden were just killed in a drive by after Aiden confessed his undying love to me and I had yet to answer his questions along with yours if I felt the same, but I just can’t deal so I think I’ll just run off to a tour of Europe”

But then again that might have been better than leaving for two months without a single bit of contact. With that remembered I go to reach for another napkin from the dwindling stack but I’m halted as the ‘buckle up’ sign begins to flash the plane preparing to land.

Sitting back I buckle my belt and wait as the plane dips lower and lower forward before touching and rolling to a halt.

As soon as the captain announces that the passengers may begin dispersing I’m out of my seat hurriedly making my way to the building now attached to the confining plane. After obtaining our luggage Christine and me make our way out of the terminal into the warm summer night. I know school starts on Monday and for once I’m excited to go, to see Spencer after so much time of being gone. I lie to myself; I tell myself that she will be thrilled to see me because my Spencer is such a loving and forgiving soul. Finally we reach home and I make my way upstairs peering into Kyla’s room and finding her to be missing I shrug and head off to bed. As I lay down I fall into an instant sleep dreaming of a good time, a better time, a simpler time.