They got back to the apartment around 7:30 after dinner at a sushi restaurant. Conversation had been light, each catching the other up on their day, never allowing things to get too serious.

As they came in, Bette dropped her bag and flipped through the days mail. Seeing nothing of particular interest, she turned to Tina and said, T, Im gonna go change.

Ok, babe. Ill be right in.

Bette walked back to their bedroom and started shedding clothing. She threw her suit jacket on the bed and began unbuttoning her shirt. As she peeled that off, she walked over to her dresser to find something comfortable to wear, unbuttoning her pants as she went. She stood there, in just her bra and unzipped pants, studying the contents of the drawer, and contemplated what to put on. She had not heard Tina come in and walk up behind her. She jumped slightly at the feel of Tinas hands on her back, lightly running across her shoulder blades, trailing a path down her spine to rest lightly at the waistline of her sagging pants.

Need some help? asked Tina suggestively, softly placing kisses on the bare skin across her shoulders.

I think I can handle it chuckled Bette.

Tina slid her hands up to the clasp of Bettes bra, resting them there, poised to unfasten it.

Really? questioned Tina, as she slowly slid the hook out of its fastener.

T said Bette, finding it hard to focus on selecting something to wear.

What, babe? asked Tina as she slowly ran her hands over the skin that had just been covered by the bra.

I, uh mumbled Bette.

Tina lowered her hands to Bettes waist and turned her so that she was now facing her. She looked at the expression on Bettes face and even though she knew that Bette was trying to hide her desire, she saw it immediately in her eyes. Hey eyelids were heavy but the fire burning within those beautiful brown eyes was there, just as it had been this morning.

Tina ran her hands across her shoulders, down to her collar bones, tracing a path with her fingers across her chest. Bettes bra was hanging loosely but still offered some coverage.

She leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Bettes lips. Bette returned the kiss, trying to contain her aching desire for Tina.

I want to tell you something said Tina, looking directly into Bettes eyes.

What whispered Bette, trying to focus on whatever it was that Tina wished to say.

This morning she began, pausing to ensure that Bette was listening.

Uh huh said Bette.

When we were in the kitchen she continued.

Yeah replied Bette, focus becoming a little clearer.

I realized something.

Ok said Bette, waiting for the realization.

One of my biggest fears, during all of the time that we were apart, and actually, if I am completely honest with myself, even before we broke up, was that you had stopped wanting me.

What are you talking about T? asked Bette, thoroughly confused by this admission.

Tina took a step back and continued.

Bette, I have always considered myself extremely lucky, blessed if you will, to have you in my life. If I allowed myself to think about it too much, I would sometimes wonder why it was me that you had chosen to spend your life with. I mean, look at you. You are drop dead gorgeous, extremely talented, charismatic…Jesus Bette, when you walk into a room, there is not a single soul that doesnt turn their head to follow your path.

Tina said Bette, trying to stop her train of thought.

No Bette, let me finish! she sternly admonished.

Bette leaned back against the dresser, waiting for her to continue.

The point of telling you all of this is that a lot of insecurities were born from my questioning your decision to be with me, your decision of choosing me.

Bette said nothing, allowing her to talk this through.

I mean, its not as if I look in a mirror and think that what I am seeing is unattractive or undeserving, but Bette, you raise the bar on an acceptable standard for the person in your life.

Tina looked at Bette intensely, wanting to see if she was following her. Appearing to be with her, she continued.

Bette, I adore you she simply stated, running her hands up and down Bettes arms.

Bette just looked at her, wondering if it was safe to say anything.

Tina she softly said, testing the waters to see if it was ok to continue. Getting no response from Tina, she went on.

I am so sorry if I ever did anything to make you feel that way. I dont know what to say. I never knew that you had those feelings, and that makes me feel even worse, hearing just now that you had these thoughts about my intentions with you she trailed off.

Baby, it was not anything that you ever said to me. I think she said, trying to put the words together. No, I think that these insecurities came from the distance that grew between the two of us.

What do you mean? asked Bette.

Tina took Bettes hand and led them over to the bed. Sit down, baby she instructed.

Bette did as told and Tina took a seat right next to her, turning her body so that she was facing her while reaching for her hands.

Bette, even before I lost the baby, our ***** life dropped off of the chart. If I ever had any thoughts about being good enough for you or being the right person for you, they were always immediately dismissed by our making love. When you made love to me, I knew that I was the right one for you. I knew how much you wanted me because in just that simple act, that act of making love to me, you proved to me how much I was desired by you. I know you so well and there is nothing that your body could ever hide from me. I could see you, feel you, smell your response to making love to me, the expression on your face unimaginably honest and straight forward. I cant tell you how much reassurance and reaffirmation I would get from the simple and natural act of our making love.

Bette just sat there, not really sure how to respond, and so decided to just allow Tina to continue.

Baby, I dont want you to think that I was constantly questioning our relationship or your feelings for me, quite the opposite actually. In the beginning, I certainly had my fears about your wanting to stay and build a life with me, but after we were together for a while, I allowed myself to trust in what we had and to give everything that I had in my power to creating a life with you. ***** was never an issue for us, and I think that we were pretty equal in our initiation and participation of that. I guess she paused, thinking of how to continue. I guess that when that dropped off, I got really scared.

T was all Bette said.

Your making love to me was all the proof that I had ever needed that I was the right person for you and when that stopped, I was terrified she quietly admitted, tears beginning to form in her eyes.

Tina said Bette as she reached over to pull her into her arms. Come here, baby.

Tina allowed Bette to wrap her arms around her, welcoming the safety that they always provided her.

Why did you stop wanting me? asked Tina in the softest of whispers.

Bettes heart ached at the question and she took a deep breath to steady her voice.

T, I never stopped wanting you she softly said, I think that I stopped wanting myself she admitted.

Tina lifted her head off of Bettes shoulder and looked at her. She saw the pain in Bettes eyes and reached up to run her fingers across her face.

Back to what we talked about last night? asked Tina.

Yes replied Bette.

Both women just looked at each other, digesting all that had been said.

Tina, I wasnt aware of the insecurities that you just shared with me, but ironically, towards the end of our relationship, it was actually me that was questioning whether or not I was good enough for you.

This time, it was Tinas turn to sit there and just listen to Bette. She rested her hand on Bettes thigh and softly rubbed her leg, encouraging her to go on.

I was questioning whether or not I was good enough for you, if I deserved to be your partner, a co-parent to a child

She paused, turning away from Tina, looking at anything else but her.

Tina watched Bette, knowing that it was tearing her up inside to make these admissions, but also knew that they had to come out in order for them to heal as a couple.

She waited for Bette to continue, running her hand up and down the length of her thigh.

The answer that I always came up with was no she whispered, finally turning to Tina with tears streaming down her face.

If I hated myself as much as I did, how in the world could I ever expect you to feel any differently towards me she said, her voice shaking with emotion.

Tina watched Bette stand, walking away from the bed, trying to compose herself.

If I ***** loathed myself, how in the ***** could I ever be deserving of your love? she sobbed, shoulders shaking.

Tina stood up, moving towards Bette.

Hey she said in a soothing voice. Baby, come here, calm down

Bette just stepped back, not wanting to be touched.

Dont you get it Tina? If I was not worthy of my own ***** love, how could I possible be deserving of yours? she sobbed, forcing the words from her body, almost expelling them.

Bette said Tina, closing the distance between them. Baby, please she cried, pleading for her to let her hold her.

Bette just stood there, the fight having left her body. She felt Tina come over to her and wrap her arms around her body. She allowed herself to be held and after a moment, put her arms around Tina, holding onto this woman that was her world, simply holding on for her life.

Thats it, take a deep breath baby, Im here she whispered into her ear.

Hearing Bettes breathing return to normal and the sobs subsided, Tina led them back to the bed. She laid Bette down placing a pillow beneath her head. She then stretched her body out so that she was laying on top of her, faces inches apart, breathing the others breath.

Hey smiled Tina to Bette.

Hey said Bette, weakly smiling in return.

You ok? she asked in a concerned tone.

Whats that? asked Bette.

Ok?

Yeah teased Bette. Do I even know what that is these days?

I think you do said Tina, leaning down to softly kiss her.

I miss you Bette.

I know, so do I.

Tina placed her head on Bettes chest, listening to her heartbeat as she ran her hand up and down her arm and shoulder.

They stayed that way for what seemed like hours. Tina finally lifted her head and smiled at what she saw. Bette was sound asleep, and Tina knew that there was no point in waking her. She slowly lifted her body off of Bettes and as she was on top of the covers, went to go get a blanket. By the time that she returned, Bette had turned onto her side, drawing her knees up into a fetal position. She looked down at her, moving some of her hair out of her face and just sighed at the simple sight of her sleeping. As her eyes traveled down her body, she saw that the bra that she had unfastened earlier had shifted in her sleep and part of her breast was exposed. Seeing just the edge of her nipple, Tina felt her breath catch and her pulse accelerate.

God, you are so gorgeous she whispered, wanting to run her fingers across her breast, but knowing that Bette needed the sleep.

She unfolded the blanket and draped it softly across her body, making sure that there was nothing left uncovered.

She then went through the apartment, locking the front door and turning off all of the lights.

After changing for bed and turning out the lights in the bedroom, she crawled into bed, sneaking under the blanket to wrap her body around this woman that was her life.

Sleep well, baby. I love you she whispered into her ear, closing her eyes to join Bette wherever she was.