The next morning Bette woke to the sound of her doorbell ringing. What does a girl have to do to get some sleep around here? she thought. She climbed out of bed, made her way to the door and opened it to find Kit standing on the front step.

“Hey baby girl”

“Kit, do you know what time it is?”

“It’s never too early for a visit from your big sister now, is it?”

Bette groaned as Kit followed her into the living room.

“So was there something in particular you wanted?” Bette made herself comfortable on the couch.

“I just wanted to see how my little sis is getting on”

“I’m fine Kit, honestly”

“How are things with Tina?”

“You know, I have no idea” Bette lay down and stared at the ceiling.

“What do you mean?”

“We’ve spoken a couple of times but every time the atmosphere is so different. I’ve had her shouting at me, telling me she doesn’t need me, showing me how much I hurt her, but then last night it really seemed like we were getting somewhere”

“Well that’s good, right?”

“I always used to know how she was feeling. Now I have no idea”

“Maybe she doesn’t even know” Kit suggested.

“How did all this happen to us?” Bette wondered out loud.

“You messed up girl, simple as that”

“Like I don’t know that”

“So you’re gonna have to be the one to fix things”

“How? How the ***** do I fix this?” Bette sat up, frustrated.

“You know what you want, right?”

“I want her back”

“Ok, so you have to show her that. Show her that you love her and that you mean it when you say you’re sorry”

“And how do I do that, oh wise one?”

“You just have to keep talking to her. Build up her trust”

“That takes time”

“You’re gonna just have to be patient, girl. What you did was pretty damn bad. It ain’t gonna get better over night”

“Well thanks for the advice, but if you don’t mind I’d really like to get back to bed” Bette stood up.

“Sure, but you call me if you need me” Kit walked to the door.

“I will” Bette watched Kit leave and then climbed back into bed.

A few hours later Bette was lounging around the house. She had the day off work, and so didn’t really know what to do with herself. She decided that in a way Kit was right, she did have to keep talking to Tina. What the *****, she thought, I may as well just call her. She picked up the phone and called Tina’s cell.

“Bette”

“So you got caller ID”

“Yeah, I don’t always feel like talking to certain people, you know?”

Bette was silent for a moment, trying to work out if that comment was aimed at her. At least she answered the phone to me, she figured.

“It was good to talk to you last night” Bette finally said.

“Yeah”

“You okay?” Bette was concerned.

“Fine. Why did you call?”

“I…I guess I just needed to hear your voice” Bette admitted.

“And what about what I need, Bette?”

“What do you need?”

“I…I don’t know. But this is all too much, too soon. I still haven’t forgiven you, you know”

“I don’t expect you to have”

“Then please stop putting this pressure on me”

“I’m sorry”

“I’m not ready for this. I shouldn’t have picked up”

Bette heard the long beep that indicated Tina had hung up. Damn, she thought, and last night it seemed like we were getting somewhere. How do I make her trust me again? How do I make her see how much I love her when she doesn’t even want to talk to me?

Tina started to cry as she hung up the phone. The sound of Bette’s voice always triggered such emotion in her. She felt guilty for the way she’d spoken to Bette. Had she given her the wrong idea last night? Had she made Bette think she’d forgiven her? She couldn’t have – Bette wasn’t stupid, she knew it would take more than one conversation for that to happen. And the question was, could she ever forgive Bette? Her emotions were so erratic at the moment that she had no idea how she really felt about the whole situation. She didn’t know if she even wanted Bette back at all. Was it worth fighting for something if you’re not even sure it’s what you want?