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    Betrayal in the First Degree – Chapter 14

    Summary of the previous chapter: Tina finally forces Bette into a confrontation.

    Bette and Tina have finished making the bed, difficult though it was as both were crying.
    Bettes last statement really stung Tina: If you have any feelings at all left for me, Tina, please dont do this right now.
    Bette thinks I dont love her anymore. Well, duh, how can I blame her? She thinks to herself. Im so angry at her; Im so hurt, but of course, I still love her.
    Bette has moved into the bathroom. She finally emerges wearing her pyjamas and a robe. She does not remove the robe until she is completely to the bed. Getting into bed, Bette picks up a pillow which is still on the floor next to the bed. She throws it across the room. She has brought the throw pillows from the couch to use on the bed.
    Tina goes into the bathroom to prepare for bed. She emerges to find Bette lying on her side with the light already turned off. Her eyes are closed.
    Quietly, Tina gets into the bed, the site of her adultery earlier in the day. She lies so that she is facing Bettes back. Softly and quietly, she begins to cry. From the shaking of Bettes shoulders, Tina can tell that Bette is crying also. They are both careful to do their crying quietly, neither wanting to admit to the other than they are finally grieving.
    Finally, Tina can bear it no longer and she speaks. Bette. I know it sounds so inadequate, which is why I havent said it until now, but I am so, so, very sorry.
    There is no sound from Bette. Her shoulders shake with more intensity. She gets up and walks into the bathroom, closing the door. Tina can hear her break down. The depth of her sobs; the agony in her cries breaks Tinas heart. She gets out of bed and walks to the bathroom door wondering if, at this point, she even has the right to go into the room where Bette is grieving for what Tina has done to her.
    Bette? Tina asks softly as she enters to find Bette slumped against the wall crying as if her heart is breaking and to Bette is feels as if her heart is literally breaking. Actually, she wishes it would literally break. Then, she would be free of the pain she is feeling.
    Please Tina. Not now. Bette manages to say through her tears.
    Baby, can I sit next to you? Tina asks fearing the response. She gets no response and tentatively moves to sit on the floor next to Bette.
    From sheer exhaustion as much as from the desire to seek comfort from Tina, Bette slumps over into Tinas lap. Tina leans her head back, against the wall. Tears stream down her cheeks as Bette lies in her lap crying tears of utter agony. Seeing Bette in this condition, Tina would gladly, if given the opportunity, sacrifice the rest of her life to undo what she had done only hours earlier.
    Bette cries until she literally has no more tears to give. She continues to lie on the bathroom floor with Tina who strokes her hair saying over and again, Im sorry, baby. I am so, so sorry. Bette stays there until she feels that her body has enough energy to enable her to up off the floor. Wordlessly, she gets up and goes into the kitchen. Whatever instinct for survival is left in her is telling her that she must go and get a glass of water and some aspirin. Her body doesnt have the strength to bear the oncoming headache in addition to what she is already suffering. Tina follows Bette into the kitchen. She doesnt feel that she deserves relief from her headache, but knows that she needs strength to try to mend what she has broken.
    Tina returns to the bedroom to find Bette again lying in the bed. Tentatively, she again climbs into bed with Bette. This time, Bettes body does not betray her. There are no signs of her continued grieving. She just lays there staring at the ceiling.
    Bette wants to ask why. Despite herself, she would like to know the details. Did Helena satisfy Tina? Did she satisfy Tina better than Bette? Why? Why did Tina go to another woman? Why Helena of all people? Why did she want to hurt Bette so badly that she not only committed adultery, she did it in their bed so that Bette would walk in and have to witness it? Why did Tina hate her so badly that she wanted her to witness Tina ***** Helena in the bed she shared with Bette.
    The fact that Bette is lying in that bed is, she feels, a small victory. Helena had taken Bettes wife, she had taken Bettes job, but goddamnit Bette still had her bed. She would be damned if she were leaving the house. She had so little left onto which to hold that she was holding on to as much as possible.
    Bette wonders how many more nights she will lie in the bed with Tina by her side. How long until Tina leaves to be with Helena long term? What if there are others? Maybe Helena wasnt Tinas first affair? How long until Tina chooses to leave and Bette is completely alone? Is Tina just waiting for Bette to leave?
    Bette wonders why Tina even bothered to stay with her tonight. Is it guilt or is it that she just hasnt planned her exit yet? Will the final destruction of Bettes life come tomorrow, next week, when?
    Tina lies next to Bette feeling more alone than she has ever felt. She traded so much for so little. She wonders if Bette will ever believe in her again. Will Bette ever be able to forgive? Will she ever want to touch her again?
    Tina is amazed that Bette has stayed. If Bette had cheated, Tina would have left. She wouldnt have wanted to remain in the house with Bette. She would have been so angry that she wouldnt even be able to look at Bette. Did Bette stay because there is hope for them or because she doesnt even care enough about Tina to invest the emotional energy in being angrier?
    Both Bette and Tina finally far asleep from sheer exhaustion. Neither sleep well, their minds denying their bodies the chance to enjoy comfort. If the mind is in turmoil, it will be damned if the body does not suffer along with it. There is definitely no lacking of suffering in the bed shared by Bette and Tina.
    When Tina awakens, she rolls over and finds Bettes side of the bed empty. She panics wondering if Bette has left her during the night. Fearful, she gets up and walks through the house. She enters the kitchen and sees the coffee pot brewing. Bette is sitting at the table wearing her robe. Papers are strewn on the surface of the table and Bette, wearing her reading glasses, in intently examining a document.
    Tina pours herself a cup of coffee and takes a seat at the table opposite Bette. She decides to wait and let Bette speak first.
    I should have gone to law school.
    Why?
    Because these people get paid so much money to write this overcomplicated nonsense.
    What are you reading? Tina asks, fearful that she will find out it is legal documentation relating to their impending break-up.
    My contract with the CAC. I faxed a copy to our attorney this morning. Ill be meeting with her this afternoon. I doubt I will get any severance out of them. Im more concerned that they cant ***** me for leaving so abruptly.
    Are you sure you want to do that? Tina asks knowing that she is the cause of Bettes sudden unemployment.
    The venom is present in Bettes voice. I dont care to go have to see HER everyday. She wants the place; she can have it.
    Bette gets up to go to the coffee pot to refill her cup. Tina looks down and sees that Bette had printed out a copy of the email she had sent to the Board of the CAC:

    Creativity is the essence of art. When creativity is stifled, the artistic vision cannot prosper.
    It is an unfortunate reality that an institution such as the CAC cannot function without funding. In our current environment, we have procured a sufficient amount of this necessary resource. However, with this funding comes an artistic vision.
    I feel that my artistic vision is in conflict with the vision which accompanies the resources that have been offered to the CAC. Therefore, it is with a heavy heart that I offer my immediate resignation from my position as Director of the CAC.
    It is my understanding that Ms. Helena Peabody will be presenting to the Board of Directors a candidate of her choice to fill my position. It is my further understanding that Ms. Peabodys candidate is available immediately to take over my position.
    Thank you for the opportunity to have worked for the CAC. It has been a privilege and an honor. I anticipate continued success for this institution.

    Tina wonders how Bette knows that Helena has a replacement in mind and that the replacement is immediately available. She wonders if there is something which she does not know.
    She is correct. She does not know that she was a pawn in a game.

    Comments

    1. All I can say is WOW!!! The whole story is good, but this last chapter was the absolute best! My stomach ached as I read each word. My heart started beating faster…Loved the letter of resignation. I believe that if Bette Porter were to write such a letter, it would be just like what you wrote. It was word perfect…really wonderful chapter…think I will go read it again. Thank you.

    2. Tina didn’t know that she was mimmow ready to be eaten(pun intended) by a big fish. The letter sound so much like bette wrote it. Helene might think that Bette went down without a fight, The CAC might not be there in a year. Thanks so much

    3. Simply an amazing chapter, you captured Bette’s heartache so well, and I finally understood her decision of denial and to stay with Tina at least for a little longer. I agree with everybody that your Bette letter absolutely reflected her character. Again thanks for the story it rocks.

    4. What the hell is wrong with Helena, she a fucking bitch I’m going to kick her fucking ass! Ok now I have to say that the story make me feel so sad when I read it, my heart is hurt and I have a little tears too! I just feel bad for Bette that she couln’t handle what Tina just do to her! And her job, well I hope that Bette will fight for it and never let that bitch Helena take it away and she will fight back what the bitch done to her job, her life, her wife, oh her bed too! Anyway I hope Bette will stand up and ready for fighting back! Please keep continue the story can’t wait to see the next one! Thank you so much for sharing this story! Love it, 5 stars for the story!

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