*Bette*

I am sitting in the car next to Tina with Kit in the back seat as we drive to the house, mine and Tinas home together. Yesterday was a pretty emotional day for us all. Everyone had been so excited to see Tina. They really missed her. Im sure I would miss her if I remembered her. I mean I do remember her butah forget it. I was released with the promise that I would call up the therapist that Doctor Winters had given me the number for and actually go. I dont know why people think that I wouldnt go to the therapist. They all seem so shocked that Im perfectly willing to go. Maybe the Bette Porter before the attack wouldnt have gone. Thats probably it. For right now just Tina and Kit are going to be with me as I make the transition from the hospital to life.

Im playing close attention to my surroundings so that I know how to get to the house from the hospital and visa versa. As we pull on to a street I see beautiful houses.

These are nice, I comment to Tina and just watch as she smiles
That smile of hers does weird things to me. Im not sure how to describe it exactly. Like her smiling at me makes everything better. It sends warmth through my body and its justawesome.

We picked this house out together, Tina starts, It was the first thing that we bought together as a married couple.

Thats some big step, I remark with a smile

She smiles at me again, We were ready for it.

Nodding my head I watch the houses some more until we pull into a the driveway of a beautiful home.

This is where we live, I ask as I unbuckle my seatbelt and wait for Tina to come around to help me

It is, she comments opening the door and holding her hands out to me

Im still not the strongest when it comes to walking just yet and I tire very easily. Slowly we walk up the walk and up a few steps and into the house. Just inside the entryway there is a banner that reads: WELCOME HOME BETTE! I smile at this.

Why dont you go explore and Kit and I will get your stuff and set things up. Do you think youll be okay on your own for a few minutes, Tina asks me with concern

If I hold on to things Ill be okay, I answer
Tina gives me a hug and then she and Kit disappear out of the house. Holding on to various pieces of furniture I walk around the living room gazing at things as I pass. Once that was accomplished I go into the kitchen.

Nice, I say softly

I catch the reflection of the water in the pool and head out that way and just stand staring at the water.

~~ *****, a voice says from behind me

Turning I see three men coming toward me, If you have something to say to me say it, I respond not fearing these men at all

Oh we got nothing to say, the youngest of the three responds advancing on me

The three descend on me knocking me to the ground and started kicking at me as I feebly attempt to fight them off~~


*Tina*

Kit and I are just coming back into the house when I hear Bette cry out as if in pain. Dropping her bag I run out on to the deck I see her on her knees holding her head in her hands. I dropped down next to her.

Baby what is it, I ask immediately

She lets go of her head and looks up at me and I see tears shining in her eyes. She looks so hurt. Gathering her in my arms I held her close as she cried softly clutching at my shirt with one hand as she had the other against her mouth to stifle her sobs.

Tell me whats wrong Bette?

I remember

Remember what sweetie?

Part of my attack.

Oh God!

Im so sorry Bette, so sorry, I whisper against her hair

A large part of me is so hurt for Bette right at the moment while another part is thinking that if Bette remembers these guys she can help put them in the slammer. Not that the police particularly need that help. I see Kit standing off to the side with tears in her eyes. I know exactly how she feels. Out beautiful, sweet Bette was hurt so badly.

Once the tears had subsided Bette was just left sniffling.

Thanks, she commented sheepishly seeing the wet spot on my shirt, Sorry.

Its quite alright for you to use me as your hankerchief, I smile standing and pulling her to her feet as well

She just smiled weakly at this, Can you show me the rest of the house?

I nod my head and take her hand and lead in the house passed Kit who was smiling at us.

Bette?

Tina?

Do you remember the whole attack, I ask softly

She takes in a deep breath at this, No, just bits and pieces. I just remembered them attacking me at my car.

Im sorry.

Yeah, Bette remarks and then clears her throat, Can I see our bedroom?

I smirk at this. Even with memory loss and thinking she is twenty two she still has a one track mind. Nodding my head I guide her down the hall and open the door at the end walking inside with her. I take a breath as we enter because this was the first time that I had been in here since that night.

Are you okay T?

I turn to her and see concern shining in her eyes.

Im just glad to be back home is all.

She looks at me as if she thinks thats a lame answer but shrugs her shoulders and goes to sit on the edge of the bed with a sigh.

Ah to sit.

Feels good does it?

Youd think Id like to stand considering how long I was lying down for.

Nah, I understand why you need to sit. When you have used those old legs for more than three months its gonna take a while for you to recover the use of them fully.

Bette just nodded her head, Can you sit next to me?

I do that and she takes my hand into hers, This is weird isnt it?

Being here in our bedroom, I ask fully aware thats not what she means

Well that and everything, she said with a wave of her hand, I dont remember you and yet I know I love you, Im forty and yet I think Im twenty two, I own a kick ***** house for goodness sake.

Its all a little much isnt it?

Just a little.

We sat in silence for a few minutes and I watched as Bette absently stroked the scar on her neck. Id noticed that before and hadnt wanted to say anything. I was too horrified that these monsters had tried to slit Bettes throat.

We can talk about it you know, Bette comments startling me from my musings

What?

My attack, the affair, she shrugs, That type of thing.

I took her hand into my own, We dont need to talk about either of those things till you are ready.

But youre ready, she pushes

And youre not.

Well I can talk about the affair I guess because I dont remember it in the least. I think Im an ***** for cheating on you. Does that help you any?

I grin despite myself, That helps immensely thank you.

Youre welcome.

“Do you remember anything else about you and I?”

Bette frowns at this and scratches the side of her head, “Little things. Like I remember us playing miniature golf or something and you accused me of cheating when you were the one cheating.”

“I was not cheating,” I stated indignantly but with a bright smile

“Uh-huh. Hey T?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m really tired. I think I want to take a shower and go to bed. Is that okay?”

“Of course it is sweetie,” I answer, “Do you need help with the shower?”

I watch with some amusement as she blushes at this.

“I remember one time how you ‘helped’ me with a shower.”

“We’ve done that many times. I meant that in a non sexual way.”

“I know. I’ll be okay. I’ll call if I need you.”

I kiss her on the forehead and leave the bedroom closing the door almost all the way. I go into the living room to watch some television with Kit.



*Bette*


I sigh as Tina leaves. I really don’t want to be left alone right now but I don’t know if I can handle the looks people are giving me, even Tina. Getting up I go into the bathroom avoiding looking at myself in the mirror and turn on the taps. Quickly I strip out of my clothes and step into the shower.

After a most luxirious shower I get out only to realize that there aren’t any towels. There is a bathrobe hanging on the back of the door. As I reach for it I happen to catch my reflextion in the foggie glass.

I can’t avoid this forever. With a shaky hand I reach up and wipe away the fog and stare at myself. Really look. Ever since my freakout with looking at myself before I didn’t want to see. Now I have to. I must.

I must admit that I look good for forty. Hair is great, ***** are still high, my abdomen is kick *****. I’m better than I was at twenty two…except…the scars.

Idly I trace the scar along my neck and then the one that starts at the base of my throat and goes to just above my belly button. It’s a thick, angry scar. They had to cut me open to get my heart started again, to find the bullet…to save my life.

Looking up into my eyes I can’t help but notice that I’m looking at a stranger. This strangers eyes draw me in. They are full of pain. I can’t hide this pain away from myself.

I can’t do this. I feel my breathing become quicker as I start to panic.

I cannot see this womans eyes.

I can’t do it.

With a cry I start smashing the mirror with my fists in an effort to get the image to disappear.

Dropping to the floor sobbing I am aware of the blood trickling down my wrists but I don’t care. I can’t do this.



On that rather dramatic scene I shall end for the night. Muahahahaah! *Clears throat* I don’t know where that laugh came from. Really ;)