“Shane you don’t have to……” Jenny said but she ran her fingers over the material of the jacket, delighting in the feel of it. Alice tied the scarf like a headband around her head and nudged Shane.

“How do I look?”

“Gorgeous….Al…I think I need to visit Dana,” A sudden silence fell over the trio and Alice smiled.

“Yeah…famous….let’s go and buy some flowers….I think Dana misses you as much as we do,”

Chapter 25

Shane looked at the beautiful sage-green grass. The beauty of the place was surreal and she thought of the irony because of the number of tears that must have been shed here. She held the bouquet of lilies in her hand and made her way to Dana’s headstone. “Dana….Shane’s come to see you,” Alice said as she gently pushed Shane forward. Shane took off her shades and looked at the headstone inscription.

                                      Beloved daughter, sister and friend, Dana Fairbanks.

She was more than that, Shane thought. She wasn’t just a friend, she was part of their family and to Alice, she was once and perhaps still was the love of her life. Shane bent down and placed the bouquet of lilies on the ground. “Dana I’m sorry….I’ve been busy…and maybe I was afraid to come back, because I don’t think that you will approve of my way of living if you’re looking down on us now…are you Dana? Somewhere where you are happy and free from pain?” Shane sniffed. She didn’t believe in heaven, but sometimes she found herself wondering whether Dana was in another realm. She knew the tears had spilled over and were now flowing down her cheeks. She tried to press her arm to her face to hide it but Alice pulled her into her arms and pressed her head down onto the crook of her shoulder.

“Shane you don’t have to hide in front of us…” Alice said in a slightly shaky voice and it was then Shane felt dampness on her shoulder and realised Alice was crying too. After that, all three of them had sat on the bench. Shane felt so at peace here. Here with her old friends, she didn’t have to pretend. She was stripped of all her fame and money because to them she was still the old Shane, the one who didn’t talk much but who was always there. Jenny had draped her arm over Shane and her head was resting on Shane’s shoulder.

“Shane you still have problem sleeping?” Jenny asked in her soft voice. If it had been someone else, Shane would just have thought of it as an interrogation of some sorts but she couldn’t bring herself to lie to Jenny.

“Yeah…a little…” Alice pressed a tissue against her slightly swollen eyes.

“I still think of Dana sometimes…you know…when I close my eyes…I can almost see the pristine white of her tennis skirt against the grass green of the court…her lean muscular legs….her bright goofy smile…” Shane leaned over and pressed a kiss to Alice’s forehead.

“Alice, it still hurts doesn’t it?” Alice shook her head.

“No Shane…. …it will be so easy to say I don’t want to love anymore because I’m hurt so badly…but no I don’t regret it… I just feel glad, and grateful for every moment I spent with her..right down to the very last minute. Shane I know what happened with Cherie scarred you but you don’t just seal your heart off like that,” Shane lowered her head. Alice had the right to lecture her and she knew that.

“Al…I’m afraid…..”

“Shane….don’t be,” Jenny said in her wispy voice. “Shane if you see someone special, don’t let her slip you by, because regret is the worst thing anyone can ever feel,” Alice continued. Did she have anyone special? There was a gentle breeze blowing, and all three of them closed their eyes. For a moment, they felt a presence as if someone had been with them during this entire conversation then that feeling was gone. And suddenly, the answer dawned upon Shane as though someone had just dropped her a hint. That person had been in front of her all along.