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Carmine Lips: Caramel Skin # 18
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Yeah. I graduated. Three years. Yeah. It’s funny. I would look though my right shoulder and re-seen the facts of my recent years. But when I looked through my left shoulder: there’s been only Bette.
I never could say the words, like I’m going to do… right here, at this moment. I never could say it, but, I will, in order to clear facts – just to reaffirm the opposite later: We lost contact.
It’s cruel and makes me shiver.
We-lost-contact…
God! It’s so unreasonable to say. These words depart frozen from my tongue.
After Mexico, I naturally got depressed. Bette didn’t search me anymore. No e-mails, presents, nothing from her. I called her. I e-mail her.
And
finally
I understood: she moved on.
………………….
A fact of my life.
Three years.
……………………..
Other facts of my life:
………………………
I married.
Please, you better soft the tone…
Apologize accepted. Now…Yeah, I married.
No…With a boy…
Ok, ok… now I have to agree with you…What the fuck I was thinking… Anyway…
I was a young, already successful at professional area – I was working to CAC – Yeah! The younger curator… And I was loved as a woman. I was also, hot and beautiful. No absence of modesty: just a fact. What is here, outside, it will perish, darling. You should know that by now…Our picture can always tell the truth when you have 80. No…sorry…It can’t tell the truth after Photoshop and so many other occasional digital or non-digital surgeries. But even if the pictures can´t do it anymore with so may accuracy, we all get old… What there’s to want or to live when you’re 80? A lot! I’ll tell you what… You’ll be… if you have lucky, like I would love to, … You will be madly in love with your life, dear, and you’ll be in love for the one that made it so value, so full of grace and cheers and your heart will tighten with this thoughts. Joy will fill your lips. And you will love and made love like never and always before and after… So… By my age, 27, I was… I am a beautiful dame.
But I was also lonely. I was longing, from the abyssal depth of me, to have the best part of myself back. And I knew that this would never happen. She was lost to me, but It was always like that. You can call me Werther on skirts or anything else.
But… I was still terribly lonely.
Without Bette.
Three years later, nonetheless, everything changed.
How could I ever dream?
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Braz you sure do know how to make a person read your stories and feel their pain, anguish,love, and sufferment. I liked how you played this out and we shall see how or if B&T shall see one another sooner or later. Thanks Braz
We got your email! Yaaay! Thanks, it was great! We will write something back to you, later. We truly missed you, sweetie.- I (Lucero) feel better after I hit the floor last time. Yes, Marsha helped me. She’s still laughing now and shaking her head. You know this is our fav story. However, this chapter was too painful. We could really feel T’s broken heart and all the struggle she had within herself. She needs some Betteamines, to recover. Hahaha. How about some romantic setting for their encounter after 3 yrs. Wow! Tina has been stoic, after such a long time. We challenge you to find the right path to fix this, Braz. Come on! You’re the expert! Big Hs & Ks for you, dear friend.- Lucero & Marsha
This is a sad tail of woe. Poor Tina, getting caught up with a married woman.
Hi Dear… yes, I received your mail :-) and I will answer, eventually ;-)) — I’m so very tired these last days that I couldn’t even read your other stories, but tonight, after my oenology lesson (wine degustation ;-)) I feel awake and joyfull and I decided to catch up with my preferred authors… don’t be surprised I did not comment on your last Daily and Guram posts… I have not read them, yet… but I’m going to, right now… as for this post… WOOOOWWWWW… it was at the same time sad, very sad, and full of hope… since, it’s obvious (like Lamentamini pointed) that Tina is telling a “past” story (her memories perhaps, or is it a therapy ? – don’t tell me it’s a “suicide letter” – I know that you like threats, but this time, I would be pityless……)… and it’s obvious that her relation with Bette is not “over”… there are still things to come : I really hope those are GOOD things, and that you won’t torture her (and us) too long before the (happy) end… so……… on you go, go back to your pen (or your keypad, or both)… I’m waiting for the next one, now :-) XOXOXOXOX
Damn this is sad and hope Bette will find Tina agian!
I just realized this story is a confessional of sorts, like maybe over the phone. PPS!
Tell me you’re going to mend my heart that you broke! I want to believe in love and you’re not helping me right now^^ Great chapter as always (this is my favorite of your stories I have to admit)
I hope this isn’t the end and hope that Bette finds Tina again!
My dear Braz!! It’s so been a long time i’m sorry but my laptop was really sick! lol!!God this sory is just AWESOME!! You’re so gifted!!And when Tina & Bette spoke french I thought I would fainted lol!!I didn’t know that my own language was so SEXY lol!!!You speak french?Anyway…I’m so addicted to this fic please don’t stop that so AMAZING!!