“Everybody has got it tough, Juliana.  That’s the 24x7x365 world we live in,” he added as he fixed his gaze again at the flashing deep blue eyes of his friend.

Bette sighed, “And here I thought we were going to have as fine a dinner conversation as the sophistication of this out-of-this-world meal that Juliana prepared, or at least match this very fine French wine.  You both realize that this is a deservedly 95-point-rated wine, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, quit your prevaricating and tell us already.  Standard bearer of the perfection society?  Who?  The urban woman, right?” Juliana groused, while taking a big gulp of the wine Bette was mooning over.  She tensed up inwardly, anticipating that Ashley would likely soon turn her generous gesture of sending this fine wine to them into a point she could throw at Juliana.  Likely, her girlfriend would use it as something to remind Juliana how much she, Ashley, had done for her.  “Pointless to spoil my enjoyment now,” Juliana thought to herself as she swallowed the fine wine.  “Deal with that when it happens.”

“Tom, men have it tough, I agree,” Bette started, to the gurgling sound of a gasping Juliana who was trying to keep the precious wine that was making its way down her throat from frothing back up.  Tom beamed — momentarily.

“But they have absolutely no appreciation, no clue, about what it takes to be a woman today.  Or, I would venture, to be that unique slice of woman, the urban mother.”

“Modern motherhood is tough,” she added after she started to lean forward.  She set her glass down reluctantly on the artfully arranged table.  “Ever since all this science came out about how much young minds could be shaped, or how critical certain years were in the development of babies and toddlers’ brains, urban mothers everywhere knew, without being told, that they were … toast.”

“Oh, come on, Bette.  The times are no tougher now on urban mothers than they were on our own mothers, surely?” Juliana asked, protesting.  She was about to say more when she stopped herself, as she realized that Bette was going to actually win her argument with Tom for her with this line.  Yay!?

“Yes, and no, I guess,” Bette shrugged.  “What our mothers didn’t have, I don’t think, was every specialist of every stripe spinning their own version of how each moment from babyhood to toddler-stage and beyond was, basically, a teachable moment.   I think this only served to increase the pressure on women raising children in all those city centers you talked about.    I see it with Tina, and the way she obsesses about everything, and I must confess I have something to do with it!  Starts almost from the moment you know you’re pregnant: eat right, sleep right, drink enough, walk, exercise, vitamins, but, watch out!  Gotta control that stress because it’s not good for the baby!  And then the pressure steps up when the subject of deciding what kind of birth you want to have comes up.   Steps up even more when you have the baby.  After you realize that, bam!  the race for perfection starts from pretty much that point.   You know you’re a goner.”