How could she! I watched the brunette walk away from her red headed lover. I finally understood that word, lover. Just from watching those two there. They were too absorbed in the converstaion to notice me sitting at a table right behind them. I noticed them when they first came in. I could feel them as their aura preceeded them into the restraunt. I knew they were lovers before I saw them. Then when I did see them I knew that they wouldn’t be for much longer. The redhead had a glimmer of leaves burning brightly in her. She wanted to show the world who she was and she wanted to create. This woman she was with had inspired her so much in so little time. The brunette was a little harder to see. She was hiding within herself; then within an image. The image was so clear it burnt my eyes looking at it. I could see the love cord shining through though attaching her to her companion. I could feel what they felt and it was breathtaking. So I called them Fire and Cake. Fire of course being the redhead and Cake with all her layers was the brunette. They were touching, Fire touching Cake more than the other way around. I could tell Cake was self concious but was bursting to come out of being so. I could hear them very clearly.

Fire: So you never told me… what you think counts as *****.

Cake looked around and saw a couple being affectionate on the other side of the room and decided what to say.

Cake: I don’t know… having an orgasam?

Fire: Well, if that was the case, that would mean thousands of women who are married with children have never had *****

Then even though she wispered I heard Fire say:
But either way… you and I definitely have had *****.

There was so much raw feeling in what was going on. I could see the crakling air rise and ebb in waves around these two women. Something I hadn’t seen in quite awhile. I saw felt Cake glance in my direction but I knew it was coming so I diverted my attention. It isn’t enough to divert your eyes because they can still feel where they were your attention must be directed elsewhere to fool them. I have become an expert at diverting attention. Then was to come the most charged whisper I have heard in nearly a lifetime.

Fire: You’re so *****, Dana. You make me come so hard.

It may sound like something normal, but to the person who says it… it is a commitment. It is something that can’t be taken back easily. She used it that way. She used it as love. Sometimes just seeing a person is love. Sometimes you have to give yourself to someone even though you have never spoken to them and have only seen them in some place or other. Love is not defined so totally by our norms. If you feel you are in love or you love someone then you do. Just uttering those words in your soul makes it so. You must love or you will die. It is a natural process by which everything is cycled. Love can take years to develop or a minute. It can end in a second or after a year. If there was anything I hoped for it was that Cake would give in to love even for a second more. Cake saw the couple looking at them and pulled away when Fire tried to kiss her. She looked very out of place and her aura seemed interupted even more. I sipped my coffee and adjusted because of the uncomfortable feeling that washed over me. I then knew Cake. I knew her and was her and I loved her. I still love her now.

Fire: Did I offend you or something?

Cake: No, everything’s fine

When the word fine came out of her mouth it was like a storm had settled over her shoulders. The second she commited herself to pretending she gained a brown color around her heart. I greived and rejoiced with wonder. Fire tried to kiss her again and she turned away. This sent up the last warning sign for the insuing crash.

Fire: Dana, what’s up?

Cake: Just, I need you to stop.

Fire: Stop what?

Cake: Touching me. Kissing me. I can’t do this, okay? I’m not ready for all this.

Fire: I don’t believe you. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone more ready in my entire life.

Cake: I know… I’m *****. And when I hide that, I hide the best part of me. But you don’t understand what it means to be me. My clock is ticking, Lara, and – and you want to have ***** in the street.

Fire:What? I…

Cake: And I don’t want to parade around making sure everybody knows our business. I’m not like you. (quietly) I care what they think

Fire: Is this about the ad campaign, or something? Did your agent scare the ***** out of you?

Cake: It’s just, I can’t stand to be judged by you all the time.

Fire didn’t know where this was coming from and I could tell by the heat that rushed through me when she felt the frustration. I had to close my eyes to withstand the blow.

Cake: You’re a bigger, better person than me and every time I look at you… (getting upset) I’m reminded of that!

Fire: I’m sorry. I’ve been putting too much pressure on you and I’m moving too fast. Maybe we should just…

When Fire put her hand on Cake’s shoulder and it was thrown off I knew how it would be. I admired Fire for all she was, but Cake was something that intrigued me. I knew she would be in my mind as one of the great trials of my life.

Cake: No

Fire: No

The way Fire repeated no was something I would chew over for quite some time. How had she affected that tone. That subtle way of reguritating that word in a hurt way and with such tenderness that I trembled with her voice. Then she put her hand on Cake’s cheek and I could feel it burning through me. I was in Cake and I saw what she saw, heard what she heard and felt what she felt. It was magnificent. It was all I had dreamed. I knew everything I had never known before and it felt so intoxicating I nearly passed out inside of her. Then I felt Cake/me push her hand away and then the tears gripped our eyelids and pulled themselves over.

Cake/me: I can’t! Okay?! Just forget it!

Cake and I looked at the straight couple again and they were purposefully finding other things to look at. I knew this was coming and it was so sad. Cake/me reached up and wiped the tears away.

Cake/me: I can’t. It’s too hard.

Fire looking us in the eyes was enough to make me want to reach out to her myself. It was enough to almost make me will Cake to comfort her. I controled the urge though. When inside someone you cannot make them do anything they would not do during a situation. To do so would be to possibly change fate. Even if it works out for the better in your eyes it still shouldn’t be done. I knew my time would come so I let Cake utter her final phrase and then left her soul.

Cake: I don’t want to be with you

I came to in my own body and watched as Cake walked away and Fire stood there looking like crushed herbs in a morter. I couldn’t let this pass by. I would be some kind of salvation to these women. For my part though I knew that it would be mostly Cake that I was saving. I gave myself the job and when I did that I created the greatest story of my life. I was put here for things like this. To reconize these instances in lives around me. So I followed Cake discretly. On the way out I made sure to touch Fire to leave a little reassurance behind me infused into her by my touch. I was afraid to take an active roll in Cake’s life, but I couldn’t help myself. After all I was in love finally.

I had heard from the conversation they had had that Cake’s name was Dana. So I followed her as she walked down the center of the sidewalk. Keep in mind now I am not a stalker merely someone with the knowledge to know… certain things. I don’t now exactly how I got the gig, but I do know that when I saw Dana the only thing to do was to follow. I was to find out in the next day that I was picked by a challenging woman. I don’t pick them after all. I knew when I felt that wave of energy enter that this was my woman. So, she was a tennis star. She had a great serve and even better cross court angles. She could slice the service box in half from the baseline. It was then that I knew why she had chosen me. I was a tennis player myself in the not so distant past. I could take it up again I supposed. My first in person encounter with her was to be the first day I saw her training which was three days after I saw her break Fire’s heart. She hadn’t wanted to say that! When she said “I don’t want to be with you”, she ment “I can’t be with you because I am a ***** coward.” At least that was what was going through her head as she practiced. I watched from the bench waiting for my turn to lob a thought back at her. I let her know I was there when she took the time to push the bangs out of her face. She saw me when I sent that vibe out. A quick look to see if I was looking at her, and I was. She served five more and her coach gave her a break. She came toward the bench and I had a dart of intense pain enter my head. She had a headache. I decided to introduce myself now so I could get on with this.

Me: Hi, I am Sara.

She gave me that pained expression that let me know that she just didn’t know what to say. She got it together however.

Dana/Cake: Hi, I’m Dana…. Um, hey you know I kinda have this reserved so if you’re waiting for the court then its going to be awhile.

Me: Oh no I wasn’t waiting. I was just passing and saw you serving so I stopped. Quality serve.

Dana/Cake: Thanks

Me: Taking a break?

Dana/Cake: Yeah, its getting kinda hot.

Me: Here by all means have a seat I am not trying to hoard your bench.

Dana: Do I know you from somewhere? You’re just so familiar.

Me: Maybe… (smiling) we’ll find out. Hey would you do me a favor?

Dana/Cake: Umm… sure I guess. What is it?

Me: Let me serve a few in your court and you give me some pointers?

Dana/Cake:Uh…. sure

So that day I served and we talked. I knew I wanted to be a part of this so badly I could taste it. I actually could. I could taste the sweat all over her. This wasn’t sexual this was spiritual. She might end up saving me. I just hoped that she would let me kiss her before it was over. That is how you truly learn what you need to know about someone. Could she end up kissing me someday? We will see.