THURSDAY

The alarm clock read 4:48am.   Tina stared at the clock and had one thought running through her head:  this is not my life.  The thought of facing another day was almost impossible.  “How did I get here?”, Tina mumbled.  The room was dark and cold.  Tina sat up on the side of the bed and inhaled deeply.  Doing so caused the body on the other side of the bed to turn and come to life.  “What are you doing?”, Eric asked.  “It’s an hour before the alarm hon”.  

Tina didn’t reply and simply walked away to the bathroom.  Staring in the mirror, the person looking back at her was a stranger.  “This is not my life” Tina said softly.  This was not the way I thought life would go.  Tina had been dating Eric for a little over year now.  She knew a proposal would be coming soon.  Yes they were a couple, but happiness was never a word that she would use to describe their relationship.  It was based more on the fact that both wanted a companion and someone to come home to.  They enjoyed the thought of each other more than their actual selves.  Their relationship had become one of convenience and familiarity.  Tina cared for Eric and might even venture to say that she loved him.  But something was missing.  The passion was never there.  The consumable love Tina so desperately sought was not there.  But somehow, here she was.  It was 5am and she was in the bathroom of Eric’s apartment thinking about all the what ifs.  Pushing those thoughts out of her head she turned on the shower and got ready for work.

FRIDAY

Tina stared at her computer screen.  The executive producer job was demanding and there was never a dull moment.  However, Tina just could not find the motivation she used to have for work.  She was passionate about the movie industry and carried an idealist attitude about the power of film.  She came into the industry wanting to change the world.  Now, all she could do was stare at the computer and dream about a life she wasn’t living.  Her thoughts took her to one of the last movies she saw.  Benjamin Button.  The movie moved her in unexpected ways.  Eric thought it was a chick flick and laughed at Brad Pitt’s big head as an 80 year old child.  Tina remembered the parting words of Benjamin … “if you don’t like the path your life is taken, have the strength to change it”.  Tears filled Tina’s eyes.  

“Tina, do you have the Rick Jones script proofed yet?”, Helena asked as she walked into the office.

“Uh, almost”, Tina replied.  She grabbed a tissue and wiped away the residual sadness that had to be quickly put back into its place.  “It’ll be done by the end of the day”.

Helena continued to gibber-jabber about this and that while Tina politely nodded her head.  

“Are you listening to a word I am saying?” Helena asked, slightly exasperated by Tina’s apparent lack of interest.  

“I’m sorry Helena.  I just haven’t been sleeping well.”

Helena sat down on the couch and morphed into friend mode, rather than work mode.  “What’s going on?  Is everything alright with you and Eric?”  Last time I checked you two looked so happy”.

Tina sighed.  “Yea, everything is fine.  I’ll be okay.  Just a phase”, Tina chuckled, hoping to get Helena off her back.  

They had known each other for a little over 3 years now and Helena had become her best friend.  Helena’s loyalty, compassionate, and generosity were admirable and she was always there for Tina when she needed it.  Tina knew that Helena could not help her with this though.  This was her battle.  A battle with herself.

“Come out tonight”, Helena said hoping to help Tina out of her funk.  “I’m thinking about venturing into the nightclub business and am meeting a potential business partner at Milk”.  

Tina raised her eyebrows and gave Helena the “really” look.  

“Tina, it will be good for you!  A few drinks and you will sleep like a baby”, Helena pleaded.

“I could use a drink”, Tina rationalized.  “Okay, sold.  I’m there” 

Helena clapped her hands in delight.  

“There is one catch though”, Helena said before leaving.  “Milk is a lesbian bar, but don’t worry, you’ll be safe with me”.  With that, Helena smiled and left before Tina could reply.

“This is not my life”, Tina mumbled and put her head in her hands.