Chapter 11

Bette adjusted her Ray Ban sunglasses as she lay back on the sun lounger. She had such a mixture of emotions coursing through her. Bodily contentment from arduous physical activity of the past few days and the absolute rawness of knowing this was their last full day together.

‘Holiday romance…’ the words kept churning in her mind and no matter how hard she tried, they would not shift.

The very fact that she had lain awake watching the sleeping blonde form last night, and this morning, was testament to the fact that her emotions had become entwined in that very ‘holiday romance’.

“Bette…” Tina said quietly as she glanced sideways from her lounger, placed as close to Bette as she could.

“Mmmm…” Bette mumbled as she felt the warmth spread across her body from the late morning sun.

“Could you put some more lotion on my back?”

“Sure…” Bette sat up as she tried to push her thoughts away. Taking the bottle from Tina and pouring some of the white lotion into her palm, readying her hands for the task at hand.

“What do you think we should do?” Tina suddenly asked.

“What today? I thought we were just going to sunbathe seeing it’s the last day…” Bette said, knowing that anything else that may have required energy was a low priority on her list.

“About us…”

Bette’s hands stopped suddenly, the lotion not yet rubbed into her skin. She coughed lightly, not prepared for the question or the conversation regardless of how it absorbed her thoughts incessantly.

“Uh…, I uh…, Tina…”

Tina listened to the hesitation in Bette’s voice; suddenly sorry she had spoken the words aloud. “I’m sorry…, forget I said that…”

“No…, sorry I didn’t mean that to sound the way it came out…, you just caught me off guard.” Bette answered as her hands resumed with the lotion.

“I just…, I can’t help but think…” Tina sighed, not knowing what she wanted or even what she should say, her thoughts were in turmoil and her emotions were worse.

Bette stayed quiet, listening to the words Tina was trying to formulate as she continued with the sun lotion.

“I…” Tina sat up suddenly, turning to face Bette. “I have so many thoughts going through my head right now and I don’t know what to make of them…” she let out a breath, almost relieved to have said the words.

Bette swallowed hard, her heartbeat suddenly increasing as confirmation that she wasn’t the only one who had been thinking about their situation came to light. She looked down at her hands. The absolute truth was that she also had no idea whatsoever.

Bette looked up at Tina, lifting her sunglasses into her hair. “Me too Tee…”

“You have?” Tina asked surprised.

Bette gave a small smile, “you sound surprised…”

“I just…, I wasn’t sure you were thinking the same…”

“For days now…, you know the whole ‘holiday romance’ thing and yet the time we’ve spent together doesn’t feel like…”

“… doesn’t feel like a holiday romance…” Tina finished.

“No…”

“That’s kinda the road my thoughts were going down…” Tina said.

Bette smiled sadly, once again the distinct ‘connection’ in their thought processes. “It all feels so new and yet so familiar with you…”

“Can we have any un-shared thoughts?” Tina said with a chuckle, “it’s exactly what had gone through my mind, it just doesn’t feel like we’ve only known one another for days…”

Bette looked to the sky, the deep cornflower blue of the Cypriot sky she was sure she would never forget, “I didn’t expect all this…”

“All this?”

“Me and you…, us…, meeting someone on holiday…, I just thought I would be getting away from the crap at home to lie in the sun and think of nothing and no one…”

“Are you sorry?” Tina asked, suddenly feeling a stab of something inside as she looked at the downtrodden look in Bette’s face.

“No…, absolutely not… I’m just getting my head around how it’s made me feel I think, like you…”

“I don’t know what to think or feel…” Tina’s voice trailed off, almost a silent begging that Bette convey her own feelings about their situation.

Bette suddenly wondered, “do you think we deliberately haven’t talked about much of our life at home…?”

“What, so that it’s separate from what’s happened between us?” Tina asked almost defensively.

“I guess…, it all feels so far away from here…” Bette said quietly.

Tina sighed and quietly replied, “yes, so very, very far away…”

“I think…, oh fuck…” Bette sighed and looked downwards at the floor, “I don’t know what to think…, we have…, lives at home…”

Tina felt a moment of clarity, whether she liked it or not, Bette seemed or appeared to be non committal on where they would go from here. It was the hint that she was looking for.

“You know…, we uh…, right from the beginning we talked about a holiday romance…” Tina said, her voice portraying a strength in it that belied her inner turmoil.

Bette looked up at Tina’s face, almost a steely looking coming back at her, “yes we did…”

“So maybe, that’s what we have to put this down to…?”

“Is that what you want?” Bette asked.

Tina looked deeply into Bette’s eyes, trying hard to find something there that would give her some clue as to her thoughts or feelings. It was hard enough to try and fathom her own let alone to try and dissect Bette’s, but it’s what she needed.

She felt such confusion she wanted a lead, just something from Bette, whether it be a glimmer of hope of something in the future or a confirmation that all she could hope for was the ‘best ever holiday romance in the history of the universe’. She smiled at her own thought, glancing at Bette as she did so.

“What?” Bette said, confused at how there could be any humour in their conversation considering how her insides were turning in all directions as if she was on the fastest rollercoaster on earth.

Tina smirked, “as holiday romances go…, it has to be the best one…” She hesitated before adding, “in the history of the universe…”

Bette laughed at the words, the lightness of the statement needed amongst the heavy words. “I don’t really have much experience of them, but I’d have to agree in this instance…” A warmth spread through her at the words, light but genuine and so very true.

Tina laughed along, “what about the enigmatic Adriana…?”

Bette relaxed back into her lounger, “I was young and impressionable…”

“And now?”

“And now…, I’m so much older…” Bette laughed.

“And not wiser?” Tina asked in a questioning voice, searching for more from Bette than she had already got.

“Well, I’m not sure about wiser actually…”

“Or are you still a pushover for a lady?” Tina teased.

Bette laughed, but blushed as she admitted how completely she had been ‘pushed over’ by Tina, “always…”

Bette stood, placing her sunglasses on her towel. Her sleek and defined body encased in the merest of a black bikini. She took two steps and dove straight into the pool.

Tina watched, mesmerised at not only the suddenness of the moment, but the incredible view of Bette in a black bikini. She watched the form beneath the water, swimming under the surface the entire length of the hotel pool.

“Oh Bette…” Tina mumbled, her thoughts had settled slightly but not really in any kind of format that she could understand. “It wasn’t meant to be like this…, I wasn’t meant to fall for you…”

Tina’s thoughts began to race once more, did she just say that aloud, ‘fall for you’…, ‘fall’, ‘for’, ‘you’…, “oh fuck…”

She sighed, knowing that even when she had brought the conversation up it was clearly a guarded subject with neither one of them quite knowing how the other felt about the situation, and very obviously neither wanting to lay their feelings out in the open, whether that be because they were unclear or afraid wasn’t apparent to either one.