Last email of Chapter 5:
From: ChristineK @ NoISP.com
To: PorterB @ CalArtsCtr.com
24 May 2004 8:42 pm
Bette,
I am still trying to understand what led us to this place. Chris keeps telling me that marriage takes two to make and two to break. I guess that I am starting to realize that I was at fault for some of the problems in our relationship. However, I never sought comfort in the arms of someone else.
There is no point in continuing with that. I can keep saying you cheated and you can keep apologizing. That isnt going to get us anywhere except the same not-so-merry-go-round that we are on.
I need time to figure out if I can forgive you. I need time to figure out how I can let you touch me knowing that you have touched someone else. How can I taste you again knowing that she has tasted you?
Why Bette? Why wasnt I good enough? Why couldnt you at least have told me that I wasnt good enough and let me walk away with some shred of my dignity intact? Why did you have to destroy my self esteem along with my heart?
I dont know, Bette. I believe you when you say that you miss me and that you love me. But, I it doesnt help the fear. How do I know that you will still want me? What if I come back and you decide again that you see something in another woman that you obviously dont see in me? I couldnt handle it, Bette. Im not like you. Im not that strong or at least good at pretending that I am strong.
What could she give you that I couldnt?
Maybe I can never give you what you want.
Tina

Begin Chapter 6

From: ChristineK @ NoISP.com
To: SullivanB @ uofm.com
24 May 2004 10:09pm
Hi Babs,
Are you as tired of grading as I am?
Well, (since I know you are curious), my friend Tina wrote to her wife. The wife, known to you as the drop dead gorgeous one, hasnt responded yet. I dont blame her. Tina hit her right in the gut with her email. There is nothing like a good reminder of why I dont do relationships. Arrangements like what you and I have work perfectly well for me.
So, tell me more about you, me, and the B&B.
Chris