Three weeks is a long time, for everyone but especially Tina.

Tina : It has been three weeks since Bette left but I have only known for a week and a half. I cannot believe she just up and left and told no one. No one knows where she is. I cannot believe Kit didnt tell me the minute she knew. The world has gone mad. Kit called me last night to tell me Bette had left a message on her answering machine. I was so relieved and so infuriated. How could none of us know Bette had left ? How can no one know where the ***** she is. We have all been looking in our own way, even me, I admit I am beginning to thaw. I was worried it is so unlike Bette. She left her car and her phone, thats when I knew there was a problem, Bette never leaves either of those.

It seems so long ago I took Kits advice and went to the house. When I got there I didnt believe Bette would leave, her car was still there, I thought she wouldnt be far away. Even though the mail box was stuffed full, it didnt register. I opened the door and went in. I walked into the lounge, Bette had taken down all the pictures. I didnt understand the significance of it until later. I saw the one she gave me turned around on the floor facing the wall. I remembered when she gave it to me. Of course I cried. I sat on our bed where we made love countless times, where the worst moments of relationship bought us undone. I thought about Bette on her knees begging me not to do this, to tell her I loved her. I knew in that moment she truly still loved me. I thought about her accident and how I didnt go to her. I thought about what Id heard that she drank too much and broke down. The moment I opened the door, the house was cold, not in temperature but it was no longer our home. It was dusk when I went, maybe not the best time, when the sun is setting. I saw the papers on the table. Bette left me everything I would need. I know what she told Kit about the property, give me whatever I want. Strange, there seems to be no hurry for Bette to sign them now. The flowers were dead, the fridge was empty. It didnt look like she bothered to do anything before she left. It wasnt until I saw the red rose that was slid inside Bettes wedding ring, until that precise moment when my worst fear was confirmed. Bette does not really intend to come home. She would never leave her ring if she planned to. Bette only ever bought a single rose, red, if she was truly sorry for something. I have wondered if that was all she was trying to tell me or is there a clue I dont see. The rose was dead by the time I saw it, is that an omen ? Bette might come home to tidy things up but she doesnt plan to stay. I am fascinated. She took hardly anything, a few clothes maybe and her favourite photo of us. For some reason she took it out the frame. She left her laptop and all of her personal belongings. I dont understand where Bette would go that she would need nothing. The trip to the house was the first time I admitted to myself I missed Bette, I missed her humour, her holding me, her eyes. I admitted to myself Id been cruel to her. I know she did wrong, and I am still angry, we have to deal with it. It was when I said that exact phrase to myself we have to deal with it I knew I had to find Bette. Bette is smart though and she doesnt want to be found, there are no clues. I know Alice, Shane, Dana and Kit have tried all of her friends and her family. Kit is clueless, it is almost unfathomable. James either really doesnt know or wont tell me. We have been looking for Bette, we meet every day at the Planet to talk about if we have found out anything. It is the part of the day I dread the most now. The frustration is setting in. As it is things between Alice and myself are still testy. Dana seems to hit a lot of tennis balls these days and Shane is no where to be found. Shane insists in supporting Bettes decision. I admire her loyalty, all of them really. I see they are torn. Only Bette and I can put this right. I am not sure what I will do to find Bette or what I will do when I find her. I wish she could see me. I talk to our baby about our other mommy, I tell her that Bette will love her as much as I do. I wish Bette could see me. Damn you Bette, I will find you.