To: BPorter@C-ART.com

Re: …

‘In just a few hours, one lucky woman will reap the grandiose of your effort and fall helplessly into your arms.  I on the other, sit here agonizing over our last phone conversation.  It really brings it home for me Bette.  We can never be friend…no strike that…I can never be your friend Bette.  I tried Bette, I really did…it hurt so much to put up this pretense and be your friend in need. 

Why Bette…why did you have to confide in me?  I think it was cruel of you but I deserved it.  How was I to refuse with all these harboring guilt?  Who are we kidding Bette?  You, for asking me advice to win the heart of someone you’re trying to fall in love with or me, a fool that actually come up with those words that weren’t meant for another? 

Did you ever work this hard to woo me when we first met?  Did you seek Alice’s advice for the enticing words and romantic ways to lured me in such entanglement?  If you ever did, she failed you miserably. I never once heard any extraordinary words or overstated sentiments unbecoming of you.  Why am I not the one to receive your extravagant declaration of affection? Am I too generic for grandiose gesture if all it took was your loving smile, a simple I love you and I was utterly spell bounded?

I always thought that you were the most exciting person for me but I must have not been one for you.   My ordinary and practical being must have suffocated your creativity from flourishing.  I have neither the vision nor the aptitude to be the inspiration that your new love possess.  You have met your match Bette.  Play the game as you wish, but I asked that you‘d do it independently of me.   I may appear to be your trusted confidante but not without peril as I am now tired beyond your expectation.

Who ever said that two people could remain friends after years of loving must have not been love and lost one’s soul to, casually suggest that?  We had that Bette, and to go from that to friend…the idea seem doable but impossible for me to carry out unaffected.   I have done my best at forging a friendship but found my resolve weakens with each passing day.  For our child and out of respect for those vested years, all I can offer now is cordial interaction.   From here on, I need to keep my distance respectfully and request the same of you.  A simple hello, a returned good-bye defines the relationship I wish for us to abide by.

It pains me to forgo of the progress we have made as friend, but it will be gentler on my heart and head not to have you there in any capacity.  Regardless of what every one said, I just don’t have what it takes to stay friend with you Bette. There it is, another one of my failure to embrace the custom as you once said how unqualified I was to be your partner. You were right after all.

Take care Bette, I sincerely wish you all the happiness and fulfillment new love inspire.   Arrangement for Angelica will continue as usual minus my pretentious friendship. Until we meet next time as casual acquaintances, I will exchange my hello for yours and send our daughter off with your and mine uncomplicated good-byes.  Farewell Bette.’

Tina’s finger hovers above the touchpad, debating whether to send Bette the message or wait until she comes home.  Tina re-read her message and overcome with sadness as thought of closure finalize.  ‘It’s done’ Tina sighs inwardly and makes her decision.  Bette will probably check her message in the morning as it is already 5 AM here.  She will probably begin the process of detachment and believe that with her new love, Bette should not have any trouble doing the same.

She closes down the laptop and stretches her restless body on top of the linen sheet.  Eight extraordinary years concluded with an email.  How ordinary. Tina forces her eyes to close, trying to drown out the noises of the world and the throbbing of her heart.  Thousand miles away, the roaring of the tractor drowned out the Blackberry’s soft ping.  A gentle vibration to the hip masked by the rumbling of the earth as it carried the weight of Bette’s reasons and a missed message.