Tina opened her eyes, and staring up at the ceiling, tried to figure out what it was that had brought her out of her slumber. She didn’t think it was a noise, didn’t remember having a bad dream. However, something had brought her out of her sound sleep, and now she just laid there, wide awake…listening…wondering. The house was quiet, the only noise being the soft, regular breaths coming from Bette, who was laying peacefully beside her. Tina looked over at her partner and smiled.

‘Bette….’ As she laid there all cuddled up, feeling warm and loved, her smile grew wider, and she thought about the incredible ***** filled night she had just shared with the only woman she had ever wanted to spend her life with. Yet, as she thought about the mind bending orgasms, and all the laughter…and then thought about all the loving words whispered to each other during the throws of their passion, there was something there…something nagging at her that Tina couldn’t quite put her finger on.

Tina’s mind started to wander back to the first time she and Bette were a couple…

She knew within the first six months of their relationship that she had never opened herself up to anyone like she had with Bette. In fact, as she laid next to her now, on a rainy morning in Seattle, Tina knew that was still true. For as much as she had loved Dan, she had never shared every ounce of her being with him, as she had with Bette. With Bette, she had willingly given her heart, her soul, her mind…and every inch of her body. Bette had helped her to feel things, experience things that she never dreamed possible. In fact, being with Bette had a profound effect on Tina’s sexual fantasies, and would change the nature of them for the rest of her life. Before she had met Bette, Tina like every other person on the planet, had harbored her own secret sexual fantasies…none of which she had ever shared with another human being. Yet, after being with Bette, Tina’s fantasies took on a whole new life of their own, taking her to places she had never even imagined possible before.

Tina had given herself as a gift to Bette, and at the time, felt completely safe in doing so. There was no fear, no hesitation…she knew without one doubt that Bette would always be the keeper of her heart…and of her fantasies. And Bette had proven her right for seven years, during which time Tina had one by one shared her fantasies with her lover, always feeling that they were protected and safe with her mate. In fact, over the years, Bette had managed to fulfill almost all of Tina’s sexual fantasies…much to the surprise and delight of both women. Bette could make her feel things she never felt before, do things that had never even been a part of her imagination before. Bette made her feel like she desired her more than any other person on earth. Bette’s mere presence made her weak, made her ache, made her feel a level of lust that was indescribable…and Tina craved those feelings, not realizing just how much she had missed them until their reconnection in August…fifteen years after the one betrayal that had torn apart everything Tina had believed in, everything she had trusted in.

Is that what was there, way back in the recesses of Tina’s mind?

It was because Bette had proven to Tina so completely that she could trust her sexually, that she never had to fear their sexual connection…that when Bette’s infidelity surfaced, it devastated Tina on so many different levels. Even now after all these years, Tina could recall the excruciating pain that had settled into her body after she had found out about Candace. Not only had Tina’s heart been broken, but all her dreams for her future had crumbled into dust right before her eyes, as she watched the interaction between her wife, and the beautiful carpenter. And, it was at that moment that Tina’s fantasies died and withered away. It was because of that moment, that for years after, even when Tina tried to come up with a fantasy to play with in her mind, all she would see was a hand gently placing a necklace back in its rightful place, nestled in a beautiful bosom…the fingers of the hand grazing a breast as they let go of the ornament.

It had taken many years for that image and the terrible pain associated with it to fade…but finally they both had. One afternoon while Dani and Paul were in school, and Alex was taking a nap, Tina had decided to also lay down. She was on the couch, drifting in and out of sleep, when all of a sudden, Bette was beside her and they were together in their bed, just waking up. Her memories reminded her what it was like to wake up next to Bette, feeling that sensation that she always had when she was in her arms. That feeling of being totally loved…totally safe. And it was then that Tina had started a new fantasy. One where she found herself waking up in Bette’s arms, wrapped in love. And it was also then that Tina started making a wish after playing out her fantasy. Wishing that her fantasy would become reality, and that one day she could wake up in Bette’s arms, even if it was just one more time. Tina closed her eyes, continuing to reminisce about the lover she had allowed herself to miss, only during those fantasies.

Smiling to herself, she thought about the incredible trip they had taken each other on, while floating on the air mattress at the lake a few months ago, and felt her nipples begin to harden and her body erupt in goose bumps, as she replayed Bettes lovemaking under the stars. She absolutely loved Bettes body…on her, in her, smothering her, consuming her, fulfilling her. God, how she loved this woman…how she missed her…how grateful she was to have her back.

Tina knew that Bette had changed over the years, had become more self assured and less judgmental, certainly less demanding. She had always exuded confidence, which sometimes came across as arrogance, but now that confidence was a reflection of an inner peace she had found within herself. Tina assumed correctly that Nica had played an important role in Bettes transformation. But, what Tina didn’t know was that she alone was the driving force behind every change that Bette was determined to make with her life. The failures she and Bette had experienced in their relationship were a constant reminder for Bette during all the years she was with Nica, urging her to be the partner Nica deserved…urging her to be a partner that would have made Tina proud.

As had happened before, Tina was experiencing a twinge of jealousy at the thought of Bette not only being intimate with another woman, but intimate with the same woman for eleven years. She couldn’t stop herself from wondering if during all that time, Bette had taken Nica to the sexual heights and self realization Tina had shared with Bette. And, for a quick moment she thought about Candace, and wondered just how much she had benefited from Bette’s sexual prowess. In a moment of clarity she wondered if that nagging she was feeling was her own insecurities, wondering if these two women had taken Bette to places Tina had always thought were only meant for them. That purely physical world she had always thought was created just for the two of them.

‘Don’t do this Kennard,’ she muttered to herself. ‘Everything is so wonderful, so right- -don’t go there.’

Stirring at the sound of Tinas voice, Bette lazily rolled onto her side and faced Tina, asking in that sultry sleepy voice, Who are you talking to baby? Where dont you want to go?

Tina could tell by the tone of her lover’s voice that Bette was not fully awake and smiled at how adorable she looked with her messed up hair, and that sleepy, perplexed look on her face. She turned on her side to face Bette and brushed the fallen locks of her lover’s hair from her face. Kissing her cheek and lightly brushing her lips over Bette’s, Tina gazed at her lover, taking her all in. She ran her hand through Bette’s hair. Did I tell you how happy I am to have you here for Christmas? Tina leaned over and began to circle Bette’s nipple with her tongue.

Ummm, uh huh, Bette mumbled as she became instantly awake.

Did I tell you how happy I am to have you back in my life? Tina’s own nipples became as hard as her lover’s, as her warm breath rolled across Bette’s right breast, causing her to subconsciously spread her legs, ever so slightly.

Yes, I believe you have mentioned it once or twice. Bette answered, looking directly into Tina’s eyes, and for some reason sensing there was more to Tina’s questions than just being glad to have Bette with her.

Oh Baby,” Tina whispered. “Do you have any idea how much I have missed your body, your being close to me, your making love to me? How much I have missed being able to give all that I am to you? She moved her hand down, stroking Bette’s inner thigh.

Feeling Tina’s soft caress, Bette started to struggle with her breathing. Her eyes started to involuntarily close, giving in to the wonderful sensations coming from Tina’s incredibly loving touch. But before they did, she caught the look in Tina’s eyes, and saw all the love, all the desire…just waiting for her. However, she also saw something else, something she wasn’t sure that even Tina knew was there, something that she was going to do everything in her power to get rid of…she saw a hint of insecurity.

Bette took hold of the hand that had been bringing her body such delight, and brought it up to her lips. She took Tina’s middle finger and slipped it into her mouth, caressing it with her tongue, her whole mouth closing around it, sucking it further and further in, and then letting it slide out, only to suck it back in again. Tina couldn’t breathe, her breath caught in her throat, her eyes wide with surprise as she watched her lover….’*****’ her finger. There was no other word that could describe what Bette was doing with her mouth…’Oh my God, her glorious mouth!’

Both women felt their desire course through their bodies, both felt the ache that slammed into their centers. Bette slowly, tantalizingly removed Tina’s finger from her mouth, and as her finger was released from the hold Bette had on it, so did her breath finally release itself from Tina’s lungs. And, as Tina tried to inhale much needed air back into her body, Bette lowered Tina’s hand, with her now soaking wet finger, and gently slid the same finger into herself, causing Tina to moan, and once again causing her throat to close, stopping any air from coming in.

“Tina, did I tell you that you are the only one I have ever given all of myself to? Every physical need, every fantasy, every longing I have ever felt, I have always been able to share with you. You are the only person I have ever been with that could absorb all of me. I knew from the very beginning that you were the one…the only one that would ever be able to take all of me. You Tina, are the one who takes me to a whole other world. Baby, every fantasy that I have ever been able to conjured up,” Bette grinned and wiggled her eyes… “and I have concocted some wild ones…have all paled in comparison to the reality of our love making…to the physical connection that you and I share…a connection that has never been equaled.”

Tina’s eyes filled with tears, and as she felt her finger deep inside her lover, she felt that nagging feeling from earlier disappearing with each stroke of her hand. She leaned down and whispered into Bette’s ear, nibbling the lobe in between phrases.

“Baby, I know we’re not on an air mattress…and there are no stars on my ceiling….but, do you think that here, in our bedroom…that you could take us back out onto that lake…please?”

Bette closed her eyes and moaned. “Oh God Baby…we’re already there, just close your eyes……..Oh God…can you feel that?”

Tbc