In the background the tv softly played, “…the car crash killed 3 of the 4 members of the Fairbanks family, leaving the tennis star Dana Fairbanks…”.

Alice immediately turned off the tv and enveloped me in a hug, “ I’m sorry baby”. she held me as I cried, I felt so numb, all that came were tears. I looked at Alice, saw all the love in world in her eyes. She cared for me, and I for her. If she were ever taken from me, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. I thought to myself, “ I can’t lose you Al, so I’m going to have to let you go”.

Just as she did every night, she gave me a kiss and then my sleeping pill with my glass of water, but tonight was going to be different. As I drank the water she climbed into bed and held me from behind. I put the cup down, and set the sleeping pill down next to it. I turned off the lamp, and turned to face my Alice. I kissed her softly at first and then tasted her, I needed to remember her sweetness. I whispered, “ I love you Alice,” and she whispered back, “ I love you Dane”. I needed those 3 words to be the last words I hear from her.

She fell asleep, and as soon as I knew she was passed out, I grabbed the bag I packed and left. She needed to know I loved her before I left, I just couldn’t lose her.

——————–

I felt the tears start to fall, I couldn’t be here right now. It was all too much for one night. I took one more look at her. In the light, she looks so much like an angel, and that she is, Alice is my angel.

She smiled weakly, knowing I was fighting with the decision in my mind. I just couldn’t talk to yet Al. I smiled back, and you could see that I had to leave. She simply nodded and stepped aside, back into the darkness. I mouth back before I left, “Tomorrow, I promise”. then I was back on the road, and just as I did that night so many years ago, I left the love of my life behind. The only difference, is that instead of seeing her 5 years later, I know I will be seeing her tomorrow, hoping for another chance to love her, and to have her love me.