“Um I, I’m… ju – just was thinking I’m not sure that I can get this show ready in three weeks and,” Bette said “You can do it,” Tina said “The party was so crazy. God, it just made me want to go home and crawl into bed with you,” Tina said. Bette smiled lovingly at Tina, then kissed her. “Do you mean it, T?” Tina cocked her head a little to the left. “Yeah, baby. You want to?” she asked, a little surprised that Bette would be willing to leave work for some quiet time at home. Bette sighed and looked down at her hands. She splayed her left-hand fingers and then spun her commitment ring. Tina pressed her forehead against Bette’s. “You look so stressed. I shouldn’t have gone,” she said. “No, it’s good that you went. It’s just,” Bette said, her brow furrowed, her thought trailing off. “It’s just what, baby?” Tina said, trying to make eye contact. Bette held Tina’s left hand in both her hands. She brought Tina’s hand up to her lips and kissed her palm. She rolled Tina’s ring between her thumbs before kissing her hand again. Bette looked at the lines that crossed Tina’s palm and wondered which line told her fortune, which line lead to her future. Bette returned Tina’s hand to her lips. She let Tina make eye contact with her as she ran her tongue in a slow circle around Tina’s palm while holding Tina’s gaze like a lifeline. Tina exhaled hard, unprepared for the sensation that coursed up her arm, flooded into her spinal cord and settled into that spot just below her bellybutton. “Ah, baby,” she uttered. “I missed you, T,” Bette said slowly, placing Tina’s left palm on her cheek. Tina ran her right hand under Bette’s hair, holding her head. “Me too,” she said before pulling Bette in closer. Their lips meet where they kissed lightly, once, twice, before Tina poked her tongue inside Bette’s mouth and then retracting it. Bette responded to Tina’s offer with her own tongue. Tina opened her mouth allowing Bette in, both digging deep into the other. A tiny moan rose in Bette’s throat and bounced between them like a lost voice in a canyon. Tina kissed Bette through her smile as she slid her hands down Bette’s back and up under her sweater. The feel of Bette’s skin against her hands sent the sensation just below Tina’s bellybutton down further, escalating heat throughout her body. She squeezed and caressed Bette’s skin, working her way up her lower back, over her muscular mid section. Bette’s sweater rose up her back, riding along Tina’s forearms. Her hands crossed Bette’s bra clasp, and then moved around to the front to cup her *****. Bette broke their kiss and placed her hands over Tina’s. “T, do you feel up to making love? I really want to be with you,” Bette said, a slight pleading in her voice that was not lost on Tina. “You know I’m there,” she said sweetly, a grin stretching across her face. She leaned into Bette and wrapped her arms around her woman, holding her and rocking her back and forth. Bette encased Tina’s shoulders with her arms as Tina rested her head on Bette’s chest. She continued rocking Bette, setting the pace to Bette’s heartbeat that echoed in her ear. Bette closed her eyes, allowing Tina to rock her. A single tear escaped and ran down Bette’s cheek and dripped onto Tina’s ear. Tina pulled her head away from Bette’s chest, still wrapped in her embrace. “What’s wrong babe?” Bette sniffed her nose and let Tina go. She rubbed her eyes with her index fingers. “It’s nothing. It’s just that, I don’t know, the baby, and Provocations. I don’t know, T, I just feel like I’m not going to be able to keep it together.” Tina pushed Bette’s hair behind her ear and ran her fingers over her cheek, along her jaw to her chin. “I’m okay and we’ll try again. You’ve got good help and you always pull off the show,” she said, a little concerned. Other than last week, Tina couldn’t remember the last time she had seen Bette cry. Bette bowed her head and covered her face with her hands. Tina wrapped her in an embrace and held her while Bette’s body convulsed between sobs. “Oh, baby, I’m here,” Tina said, waiting out the fall. She expected Bette to pull herself together, but the sobs continued. Bette snuffed her nose and looked up at Tina, her eyes pink, her face streaked with tears. Tina cleared away Bette’s tears with her thumbs and looked at her closely. She began to wonder what had happened that had set Bette’s emotions flowing. Tina sweetly kissed Bette’s forehead and then held her head so that she could look into her eyes. She thought that Bette looked far away. Tina ran her tongue along Bette’s jaw and up to her right cheek to trace and catch her remaining tears. “Let’s go home, baby,” Tina said. She rested her lips on Bette’s. The two stared at each other, holding their lips perfectly still. They shared their breath as they stared eye to eye. “You blinked,” Tina said, pulling her lips away, giving Bette a playful smile. Bette smiled too and looked down. “You win. What’s it going to be first?” She said, peeking up at Tina. “You know I love to win, but I’m giving you my turn. Tonight I’m taking care of you,” Tina said. She wrapped her arms around Bette and kissed her to show Bette her intentions. “Hey I was just going, oh, I didn’t know you were,” Candace stammered. Tina pulled away from Bette and turned around to face the woman in overalls. “Candace, this is my girlfriend, Tina Kennard,” Bette said. “Tina, remember I told you about Candace?” “Nice to meet you Candace,” Tina said, reaching out to shake Candace’s hand. “Hi,” Candace said sheepishly. “Bette told me about you and your crew. I’m so glad you’re going to help her get the show ready.” “Yeah, me too,” Candace said, looking at Bette. “Are you okay?” “I’m fine,” Bette said, looking away from Candace. “She’s been working way too hard. I’m going to take her home,” Tina said. “Oh, okay. I’m just going to work a few more hours, if that’s alright with you?” Candace asked Bette. “Fine,” Bette said. She found a Kleenex on her credenza, turned her back to Candace and blew her nose discretely, before shutting her laptop down and gathering her things. “Well, nice to meet you Tina. I better get back to work.” “You too, Candace,” Tina said. “That’s great that she’s willing to work weekends,” Tina said to Bette’s back. “Yeah, it’s great,” Bette said in a tiny voice. “T, let’s go.” “Okay. Do you want me to drive?” “Do you mind?” “Ah, no. I don’t know how you can see out of your puffy eyes, baby.” ~~~ Tina unlocked the front door and carried her overnight bag inside. Bette trailed a few steps behind her, the weight of her laptop bag and purse pressing into her shoulders. Tina dropped her bag inside the door before turning to help Bette inside the house. “Baby, you look exhausted. I’m going to feed you and put you to bed,” Tina said, taking Bette’s laptop bag off of her shoulder. “Did you eat today?” “I ate breakfast, but missed lunch.” “You must be starving. Go take a shower and when you get out, we’ll eat,” Tina said, giving Bette a quick peck before turning to walk into the kitchen. Bette nodded and walked slowly down the hall. Tina thought she looked like she was coming down with a cold and wondered if Bette would feel up to making love. She felt a ting of disappointment at the thought that they wouldn’t. Tina heard the shower running as she placed a pot of water on the stove. She unlocked the French doors that lead to the backyard and walked to her garden. The rosemary had overtaken the basil that had started to go to seed. Tina pinched off the pale violet flowers and held them up to her nose. The anise scent smelled sweet and she thought back to when she planted the seedling starts before she became pregnant. A breeze of sorrow rustled her heart. She sighed and looked out across the pool. The high afternoon sun pranced and shimmered across the water. Bette cranked the shower handles setting the hot water flowing. She stepped into the stream, feeling the water pummel her head, face and back. She thought about Tina in the kitchen. She could always count on Tina to give her comfort and a refuge from her world, from herself. Her heart ached at the thought of Candace asking if she could kiss her. “Why didn’t I tell her ‘no’?” she thought. Her tears began to flow again and were washed away by the shower. She chided herself for having a week moment and how she would now have to face Candace everyday until the construction work for Provocations was completed. “***** me.” She said under her breath. The memory of Candace’s kiss that was barely 24 hours old played again in he mind. She lingered at the thought of Candace’s humbled desire for her and how Bette became completely engorged with her one simple kiss. Bette’s mind raced forward to last night and how she could not sleep because Candace kept appearing in her dream, rousing Bette to continue the kiss, to take it to where Bette wanted it to go. She turned away from the faucet when she heard the shower door open. “You almost done, babe?” Tina asked. “You’re starting to pucker up.” Bette looked at her feet. “Yeah, T, I’m done,” she said, her voice small and quiet. Tina wrapped Bette in an oversized white bath towel and rubbed her back. “Are you coming down with something?” Tina asked, bending to look into Bette’s down-turned face. “No, I’m feeling much better after my shower. I’m starving,” she said, raising her head and forcing a smile. “I just threw together a little penne. Put something on and we’ll eat.” Tina said, holding Bette’s face. She pulled her in and let her lips linger on Bette’s. She kissed her sweetly and then whispered in her ear “I have you planned for dessert,” she said, her lips grazing Bette’s ear, sending a volt through her and making the hair on the back of Bette’s neck stand up. She sighed and smiled at Tina, “Okay, baby.” Bette walked down the hall toward the dining room table. Her hair was wet and she wore a white tank top and a pair of men’s boxer shorts. Tina smiled. She had given Bette the boxers for Christmas as gag gift that she had picked up at the last show she had attended at MOCA. Little Andy Warhol Marilyn Monroes in pinks, oranges, and reds covered the boxers. Bette usually cringed when she saw art reduced to graphics and then displayed on everyday items. Tina was surprised but pleased to see Bette wearing them. “You look great in Warhol,” Tina said, placing a pasta bowl in front of Bette. “I thought you would like them. This looks delicious, T, thanks,” Bette said, grabbing Tina’s leg and reaching her head up for a kiss. “Your welcome, baby,” Tina said, leaning down to give Bette a peck. She took her place across the table and poured some Cabernet Sauvignon into Bette’s glass and then her own. Tina held her glass up and waited for Bette. Bette picked at the penne with her fork, moving the basil, tomatoes and Kalamata olives around her bowl. “Ah-hum,” Tina said, planting her elbow on the table. “Oh, sorry T,” Bette said, lifting her glass. “To Sunday afternoons, and you,” Tina said. “To us,” Bette replied and clinked Tina’s glass. She took a sip and then threaded a single penne noodle on a fork tine. Tina took a sip of wine and continued to watch Bette. “What’s up Bette? You’re acting really weird and your starting to freak me out a little.” Bette looked at Tina and wondered if she should tell her about Candace. Guilt punched her in the gut making her stomach roll. She decided that no, she would just forget about the kiss with Candace. She made a mental note to call the CAC attorney on Monday to nullify Candace’s contract. “T, I can’t tell you the stress I’ve been under,” Bette said, her brow furrowed, her face pleading with Tina not to press. “Let’s just eat and have our time together, okay?” Tina nodded her head and took a sip of wine. The two ate their pasta while Tina filled Bette in on the events of the weekend. Bette was particularly interested in Tonya and Dana’s immediate attachment to this woman who Tina called a grifter. “I still don’t know why Dana never called Lara back,” she said before getting up from the table, drinking the last sip of her wine and walking behind Tina. She placed her hands on Tina’s shoulders and then moved them inside the front of her T-shirt, resting them on her chest. Bette leaned down to Tina’s ear and whispered, “Let’s go to bed.” Tina put her hands on Bette’s forearms and tilted her head back slightly. “Ah baby, I’m so ready.” Bette nipped at Tina’s earlobe and ran her tongue around the edge of Tina’s ear. “Then what are you waiting for?” she said in her best slow, sultry voice. Tina pushed her chair back from the table and stood to faced Bette. She pushed Bette’s damp hair behind her ears and then leaned in to kiss her. Bette held Tina around the waist, closed her eyes and opened her mouth. Tina moved her tongue inside Bette’s mouth, touching her teeth, and then twirling and twisting around Bette’s tongue. Tina held her eyes on Bette’s closed lids, moving her tongue in rhythmic flicks with Bette’s. When Bette opened her eyes, she was startled to see Tina’s deep brown eyes intensely focused on her. Bette broke their kiss, said “Come on,” and took Tina’s hand to lead her down the hall. Bette pulled the bed comforter back while Tina crossed her arms and grabbed her T-shirt and in one quick motion pulled her top off over her head. Bette sat on the edge of the bed, leaning back on her hands, watching Tina. Tina held Bette’s gaze, unzipped her jeans and took a step forward so that she stood between Bette’s straddled legs. Bette pulled Tina’s jeans to the floor. She slid her hands behind Tina’s ***** and pulled her panties down and then touched Tina’s soft mound. “Ah, no. Tonight is about you, baby,” Tina said taking Bette’s hand and pulling it away. “And don’t even think about flipping me,” Tina playfully warned, but Bette knew she meant it. Tina stood on her fallen jean pant leg and stepped up and down until she was free from her jeans and panties. She put her hands on Bette’s tank top and pulled it up and over her head as Bette’s arms reached high. “Scootch back,” Tina said. Bette inched her way onto the bed and laid down on her back. She arched her back a little allowing Tina to pull off her boxer shorts. Tina felt the crotch of Bette’s boxer shorts. “You got Marilyn wet,” she said, a playful grin stretched across her face. She tossed the boxer shorts on the floor and climbed onto Bette. Tina sat on her knees and leaning on her arms, her ***** inches away from Bette’s mouth. Tina rocked her hips back and forth adding her own wetness to Bette’s mound. “So how do you want it, baby?” Without waiting for Bette’s answer, she bent down and ran her tongue around Bette’s right nipple before sucking it into her mouth. She caressed Bette’s left breast with her hand, massaging and slightly pinching her nipple between her thumb and index finger as she sucked. Bette’s breathing began to deepen and labor as Tina took her right nipple between her teeth and tugged gently. Bette let go of a tiny whimper as she wrapped her arms around Tina’s back. “Ah, T, you feel so good.” Tina let go of Bette’s nipple and kissed and licked her way across Bette’s chest and up her neck. Bette opened her mouth awaiting Tina’s. Tina felt like playing a slow-tease game, but something about Bette made her feel a sense of urgency. Tina met Bette’s open mouth with her own and the two sucked and dug their tongues into each other as if they were starving. Tina slid her right hand down Bette’s side, feeling her smooth curves before crossing over her thigh and resting on her mound. Bette bent her legs and then nudged them a little wider as if asking Tina for what was next. Tina rhythmically stroked Bette’s soft curly mound before slipping two fingers inside her wet center. Bette abruptly sucked in a breath as she began rocking her hips. Tina pressed her right thigh up against her hand as she watched Bette’s face as she moved up and down against her. Bette tilted her head back slightly, her eyes closed. She held and caressed Tina’s head, her fingers tangled in Tina’s blond hair. She held her breath and then sucked for air, her hips thrusting up against Tina’s hand and thigh, her ***** building but just out of reach. “Kiss me, T,” Bette begged, pulling Tina’s head to meet her. Tina gave Bette the kiss she wanted as Bette continued thrusting her hips in earnest. Bette turned her head, “Ooh, oh, baby, oh yeah,” she said as her ***** ripped through her body. Tina nuzzled her face into Bette’s neck as she waited for Bette’s hip thrusts to subside. When Bette was still, Tina pulled her hand away and laid with her head on Bette’s chest. She could hear Bette’s heart pounding. Bette moved her hands from Tina’s head and covered her face. She held her breath and tried to swallow the wail that was moving up her chest, through her throat, across her vocal cords and out her mouth. “Aaahoo-aa” she sobbed, her body shuddering. Tina popped her head up and rolled over on her stomach, and rested on her elbows. “Bette, my God, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you? Baby, what is it?” Bette shook her head “no”, but continued to cover her face and sob. Tina sat up and lightly touched Bette’s left hand. “Baby, you’re scaring me.” Bette rolled over and wiped her face on the pillow. “Tina, I, I need to tell you something,” she said with a craggy voice. “What?” “God, Tina, I’m sorry. I, it’s just that, she, she kissed me.” “What are you talking about?” “She kissed me.” “Who kissed you?” Tina said, an edge in her voice. “Candace.” “Can, Candace? Your contractor?” “Yeah, yesterday,” Bette said, clearing the tears out from under her eyes and turning her head. “Tina, I’m so sorry I let it happen.” “Jesus Christ, Bette,” Tina said. She turned away from Bette and focused on the love seat across the room. She sat silent for a few moments and then abruptly turned her head and looked at Bette. “You’re telling me that she kissed you. Candace kissed you?” “Yes, and,” Bette stammered before Tina interrupted her. “I know you Bette. You would never let that happen if you didn’t initiate it or want it,” Tina said, her tone sharp. She gathered the comforter up around herself, covering her *****. “It happened so fast, and I admit that I kissed her back. I did and I’m sorry, T. I wish I could take it all back,” “Well you ***** can’t take it back, now can you?” “Tina, I’m telling you because I want it behind me. I love you, T.” “Are you sure that was all it was Bette? I can’t believe you’re telling me this. I can’t believe you kissed her,” Tina said, her voice cracking, her own tears beginning to well up and roll down her cheeks. “I didn’t,” Bette started. “You did, Bette. And ***** you for wanting to be with me out of guilt, or whatever is going on inside your head. ***** you. We haven’t made love in so long. I really thought you wanted me.” “I did want, I do want you Tina,” Bette said, sitting up and touching Tina’s back. “Don’t touch me,” Tina said, knocking Bette’s arm away with her forearm. “Jesus Christ, what’s becoming of us?” She said, tears dripping from her face onto the comforter cover. “T, please believe me when I tell you youre the one I want. I love you. I’m sorry I’ve hurt you. It’s not about you,” “Oh, bullshit. It’s about us, Bette, you and me. You know I could have found some woman to ***** this weekend, someone who wanted to be with me, just me, not because of some fucked-up guilty reason. God, I couldn’t stop thinking about you this weekend. I told Alice to drop me at the CAC because I couldn’t wait to see you, to touch you. Goddam you,” Tina said, getting up from the bed and walking toward the bathroom. “Wait, Tina, don’t walk out,” Bette called after her. Bette was stunned at Tina’s reaction and started to feel anger at Tina for not crediting her for admitting her lapse in judgement. She heard the shower running and decided to wait until Tina came out to finish. Bette got out of bed and put on some fresh clothes. She pulled her hair back in a ponytail and sat on the edge of the bed, waiting. Tina turned the shower off and reached for a towel. She rubbed the white cotton towel over her head and worked her way down her body. She wrapped the towel around her torso and stood in front of the mirror. She was a bit surprised to see her jaw set and her angry eyes looking back. She shook her head and reached for her hairbrush. She stroked her hair with the brush, combing her hair back up over the top of her head. She looked at herself long and hard. She squirted body lotion into the palms of her hands and rubbed them together before smoothing the lotion over her face, neck and arms. She blew out a long breath and then left the bathroom. When she returned to the bedroom, Bette was waiting for her. Tina expected to see Bette still lying in bed. Bette stood up and met Tina just inside the door. “Tina, I,” Bette started. “Keep it, Bette, I don’t want to hear it right now.” She held her left hand up to Bette’s face. “See this? It means something to me. I meant it when I said I would love you and live the rest of my life with you. I made a promise. So did you. I’m keeping my end of the promise. You need to figure out what you want, Bette. I’m going out.” Bette stared at her. She had never seen Tina like this. “I want you, T.” “Then you need to start acting like it,” she said, pulling a fresh T-shirt out of her drawer. “You’re right, Tina,” Bette said. Tina turned to face Bette after she pulled the cotton T-shirt over her head. “I’m not rolling over, Bette,” she said without emotion. She zipped up her jeans and slipped her sandals on. “We’ve lost a lot, Bette, and I’m not giving in without a fight. So figure out how to get your ***** together.” Bette felt relieved to hear Tina’s proclamation. “I will,” she said, as she watched Tina rustle her hands though her blond hair in front of the dresser mirror. “Oh, and what we started here tonight,” Tina said pointing at their bed, “Were not done.” She walked past Bette, leaving her sitting on the bed. Bette could hear Tina pick up her keys, open and close the front door. She fell back on the bed and said, “Good.”