The party had gone well. Bette made a host of new contacts and even secured a couple of artists for her gallery. Needless to say, there were several instances of people making double-takes as Bette worked the room with her hand clasped into Tinas, or settled comfortably in the small of her back. Tina felt a little out of her element, but being with Bette always improved the situation. And once word got out that she worked in the movie industry, she had her own little cluster of avid listeners/interrogators. But now they were back at the loft, a little buzzed and completely exhausted. Why do I let you talk me into wearing these shoes? Tina eased her feet out of her 3-inch heels, kneading her aching toes and glaring at Bette. Bette sat down next to her on the couch, already freed of her ankle-high boots. She handed Tina a bottle of water, opening her own as she slumped into the couch. Ughmy head is killing methe amount of smoke in that gallery couldve gives LA smog some serious competition, Bette wrinkled her brow and took slow pull of her water.

Come here, Tina said softly, patting her lap for Bette to deposit her head there. She did, letting her water-holding arm to dangle off the couch while her free arm loosely hugged her waist. Tina rubbed little circles into Bettes temples with her fingertips, smiling as her eyes slowly closed and her face relaxed. You know what would really make you feel better? Tina whispered, bending down to kiss Bettes forehead, wrinkled from expecting Tinas next words. Tina just chuckled, moving her hands down to rub Bettes shoulders. Bette raised an eyebrow, Full body massage? Tina grinned, Guess again. Bette opened her eyes, deciding to read Tinas brown ones. Just as she suspected, there was that glint of mischief. Bette sat up and turned in her seat to face Tina, Dont you think its kind of tacky? Tina furrowed her brow into a questioning expression and Bette continued, To smoke all that weed, the two of us aloneI mean were in New York. Tina nodded, but it wasnt agreement, it was more of a I see your point, now heres what I think type of nod. Well, what do you suggest we do with it?

Bette drummed her fingers on the back of the couch impatiently, I dont know, Tina, throw it away, flush it down the toiletdefinitely NOT try to smuggle it back into LA. Tina smiled suddenly, a subtle curling of the lips, as if she had uncovered some important, but deeply cherished secret. Babyyouve never done it have you? Bette sat up straight, crossing one leg over the other, a very pissed expression on her face, I was a little preoccupied with slightly more important things like schoolI didnt have time to ***** around. Tina stuffed her tongue into her cheek for a moment; Bette bristling like this was actually amusing her. I only ever did it for experiences sake, Tina said calmly, you mean you were never even curious? Bette looked at Tina out of the corner of her eye, I tried it oncein college, but it burned like ***** and I felt like I was coughing my lungs up. Tina slapped her shoulder, Cmon! she said walking into the kitchen. Bette put on her whining face, Tina can we just go to bed, Im exhausted

Bette, the firmness in Tinas voice caught Bettes attention, its a right of passage kind of thingand who better to lead you through than your loving, devoted partner who wants nothing more than to see you act the fool completely stoned. Bette opened her mouth to say something, but for some reason her mind was a complete blank. There was just no arguing with that apparently. Bette walked over to the kitchen, seating herself in a stool across from Tina who was busy laying everything out: the grass, a couple of sheets of printer Xerox paper, a box of rolling paper, a cheap cigar, and a stone pipe. Bettes increasing shock was evident on her face as she watched Tina. Noticing Bettes reaction, Tina waved her hands, Most of this belongs to Alice. Bette nodded but her face was still tense; she picked up the pipe, flipping every which way between her fingers. Tina removed it from her grasp shaking her head, Mmmmno, weve gotta build to that. Having arranged everything on the counter, Tina clasped her hands together, Okay, first things firstjoint-slash-blunt rolling 101. Bette folded her hands on the counter and furrowed her brow, concentrating hard on what Tina was saying.

Now, what kind of paper did you use when you smoked that one time: white or brown?

Umit was white.

Okay, were gonna go with a blunt then, I think it might agree a bit more with you.

Bette smiled weakly. Tina made quick work of isolating the paper from the cigar. Gingerly placing it aside, she grabbed the bag of weed, removed a small clump and put it on top of a clean sheet of paper. Okay, before you can roll it up, you need to break this up, she said suspending the clump. She quickly showed Bette how she preferred to go about it, allowing her to help out toward the end. She rolled up the blunt, expertly, to Bettes surprise. She held it at the ends and placed the last little flap close to Bettes lips, Lick it for me, baby, she said with a wink. Bette smiled and ran her tongue along the acrid paper, grimacing at the taste. Tina held the end of the blunt between her lips and started looking around at the kitchen as Bette waited patiently.

*****! We dont have a lighter!

What about that candle right behind youyou can light it with the stove

Tina smiled proudly, Youre catching on nicely. Bette couldnt help but blush slightly at the showering of approval. Tina did as Bette suggested and lit the blunt, drawing a few puffs, and then coming around the island to sit next to Bette. Okay, baby, this is what you have to dotake a really deep breath and hold it. Bette inhaled slowly, expanding her chest to its limits. Goodkeep holdingokay, now let it out, slowly. Bette exhaled, plumping her lips into a perfect circle. Excellent, now thats exactly what youre going to do then Im gonna hold it to your lips, just relax and breath just like thatokay? Bette nodded; with one more reassuring smile from Tina, she closed her eyes and exhaled, then felt the soft blunt slipped between her lips; she pressed down and inhaled slowly as Tina cooed her on, Relax, dont rush it, just breath ingood…now hold it. To Bettes relief, the smoke didnt burn too much as it swirled down her throat, just tickled. Tina gave her the signal, and she began to slowly blow out, opening her eyes afterward. Tina was beaming, You did it! Bette had a goofy grin, I did, she whispered. Tina shook her head a little and giggled, *****, Bette, this stuff is REALLY good.

The pair kept smoking the blunt, passing it back and forth with Tina continuing her patient tips and instructions. By the time it was reduced to an inch or so, Tinas eyes were bloodshot and she was gently swaying from side to side in her stool. I think were gonna discard the rest, she slurred, Ive never been much of a roach-killerit always seemed so crass. She got up and walked around the island, giving it three or four laps before she noticed the shiny chrome waste basket off in a corner. She then wrenched the refrigerator door open and retrieved two more bottles of water, a can of chocolate cake frosting, and a bag of baby carrots. Dumping everything on the counter in front of Bette, she gave her the once-over and scratched her head, Are you feeling anything, babe? Bette stared blankly, blinking once before flatly stating, No. Tina ripped open the bag of baby carrots, picked one out, and started crunching away. Well try the pipe next, that should do the tripI mean trick, she said before dissolving into giggles, little orange carrot bits flying everywhere. Bette bent her head forward and let hanging it there in her attempt to nod.

While Tina prepared the pipe, Bette opened up the frosting and started eating it with her index finger as the spoon. Are my eyes bloodshot? she asked through a mouthful of melting chocolate. Tina squinted into her face and quickly shook her head no. Tina then offered her the pipe, but Bette had discovered that her stool could spin around. Clutching the can of frosting to her chest, she spun with her mouth open uttering quiet whoas and ooohs of awe. Tina watched with equal amazement as Bette whirled, her hair billowing around her face. Bette stopped abruptly and stood up, a little wobbly on her feet because she was dizzy from all the spinning. You know what we should do, Tee, she said, peeling off her jacket as she crossed into the living room, we need music! Tina grabbed the candle and the pipe, the carrots and her water bottle and followed Bette. Pipe in hand, she puffed away and observed as Bette aimlessly pushed buttons on the very expensive sound system in an effort to turn it on. Do you want some more? Tina asked, her voice strained from holding her breath. Bette waved her away, I dont think its doing anything for me. Tina sat down agape for a while, then exploded into another fit of giggles.

Bette grabbed the sides of her own head and stared angrily at the stereo that still refused to turn on. She turned to a still laughing Tina and explained her plan of action, Okay, once I get this damn thing on, Im gonna air-guitar and youre doing drums. She stuffed her hand in the bag of carrots and shoved a whole one into her mouth. Tina wrinkled her brow and exhaled, wispy white smoke enveloping her head as she spoke, Whos gonna do vocals? Bette looked utterly stumped; she sat down cross-legged on the plush carpet and drummed her fingers on her chin, How aboutwe do a duet? With a quick nod from Tina, she resumed her task of trying to turn on the stereo. Five minutes later she succeeded; Tina was back in the kitchen fixing up another helping when she literally jumped at the sound of Nellys Its Gettin Hot in Herrre blasting through the loft. She walked back into the living room with her fresh pipe to find Bette staring down at the stereo and scratching her head. Tina stood next to her while Nelly continued beckoning that they remove their clothing. Maybe we should just dance to it? Tina suggested, nudging Bettes arm and handing her the pipe.

Bette took a long drag, coughing a little as she replied, Should we take our clothes off too? Tina nodded, then started doing her own white-girl version of the Harlem shake, simultaneously shimmying out of her black cocktail dress. Bette instead bobbed her head to the music while she unbuttoned her shirt. They did some weird chicken dance and continued shedding their clothes until they were clad only in their underwear. Bette showed off her best running-man and discovered that Tina could do the worm with the best of them. They tried to sing along, but neither were well versed in current hip-hop and reggae hits, so they mumbled and muttered as the beats pulsed on into the night. Sometime around 2 or 3 oclock, the weed had all been consumed, the carrots and frosting were gone, water bottles were strewn across the floor and Nina Skys Move Your Body was pouring out of the speakers. Bette and Tinas sweaty, tired bodies were crumpled together on the large sofa which they had fallen into once they had smoked so much that all they could do was sleep.