“The hell it is!” she muttered under her breath.

In two seconds, she found herself having a panic attack: the dogs were nowhere to be seen. “Oh, God, she is going to kill me” not only her wife. “They are going to kill me!” adding her sweet daughter to the group of people that could probably kill her.

“Where the hell are you?” she screamed. People turning around, glaring at her as if a second head appeared. But the second head would have been only an addition to the disheveled hair, which have been messed up by her hands in the middle of a nervous breakdown.

“What?!” she snapped, almost biting the head off the poor victim that happened to cross her path. It was a little boy. He stood there, studying what in his mind was something very close to the wicked witch of the East. She squinted her eyes, he ran away.

She walked for a little bit, when she finally found them.

“Hell no! You are so not doing this” she said to one of them, which was now hidden behind a tree, very busy trying to copulate with one of her fellows. “Two of you is enough”

As the woman bent down to take the leashes, a man approached her: “They are really beautiful. Are they pure breed?”

“Yes”

“Is there any chance they could have puppies. I want one. I would pay”

“I’ll pay you if you take the two of them”

“Really?”

“No.”

She walked away, leaving the incredulous man behind.

***

The walk back home was accompanied by curses and admonishments to two oblivious dogs. They surely couldn’t understand half of what she was saying. But it took one last pull to really infuriate the once so respectable woman.

“Arrrrghhh” she stumped her feet. The two poor things stopped.

“You–” and here I stop. I won’t be here listing all the imprecations that left the brunette’s mouth.

Her face flushed, tears threatening to fall. She opened the door to the smell of what was going to be the lunch of that day. She walked inside, finally letting go of the lashes that almost broke her wrist and stood in the hallway.

“Baby” the beautiful blonde appearing from the kitchen greeted her with a kiss. “You are so beautiful today!”

And the Pandora’s box opened. The tallest woman started to wail, crying, big drops falling from her eyes.

“What happened baby?”

“These dogs!”

“Ohhh, you are so worked up. Come here” she hugged her. “My beautiful baby”

“Why are you doing this to me?” she cried. The words coming out muffled as she buried her face in her wife’s neck.

“What?”

“This demonstration of affection” she sounded like a baby. “All this makes me cry”

She continued wailing, inconsolable.

“Ohhh” Tina started laughing. Something occurred.

“Are you serious?!” Bette was clearly offended.

“Bette! This is your first hormonal crisis” she kept laughing.

“This is not funny!”

The blonde woman snorted. “Believe me, it is” she said patting the little bump that was starting to show on the brunette’s belly. “I’ll go fix our plates” and with that she left a stunned Bette behind.

In the meantime, the two dogs had fallen asleep, but sensing her glare, one of them woke up and looked at her with two brown puppy eyes.

“Awww” the brunette smiled at the cute sight.

Then scoffed and shook her head, “No way, I’m still mad at you!”