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“What do you mean you’re separating?”

“Please don’t let me say it again Kit.”  Her voice was weak.  In volume.  In soul.  In fervor and conviction.  Lacking much of what she was known for in light of those elements.

“For how long?”  The older woman knew it was a naïve question. 

People didn’t exactly put a schedule to separations did they?  Or if they did wouldn’t that just be a timid approach to admitting the end was near?  As if saying it was temporary would take away any pain that led to the proposed dissolution? That was somewhat if not completely flawed it seemed.  Especially for this woman.  A person she knew well.

Bette just looked at her sister.  Pursing her lips and furrowing her brow erratically, silence served as the answer. 

She. Did. Not. Know.

She was thoroughly humbled.  Caught off guard with how far off course they had been thrown.  How nothing was close to anything they wanted.  How everything was spiraling out of control.

Bette saw Kit reach for her phone.  She realized the knee-jerk reaction would be to call Tina and ask the questions to which her sibling had no answer.

The beeping keys spurred her to act.  Reaching out she pushed against the singer’s tense forearm to stop the connection.

Bette shook her head, accompanying her disapproval with a single word. “Don’t.”

Wisely, the counselor of the hour remained quiet.  She slid the phone’s panel shut and waited.

“I never thought I’d fail at this.”

“Bette…” Kit soothed.

“I never thought we’d break again.”

"I know." She nodded slightly to urge the younger woman to say more.

“I still love her.”

Eyes glistening with tears she looked directly into her sister’s eyes. Tears spilled onto her cheeks and still she looked at Kit. 

Bette didn’t want to hide. 

How she felt. 

How much she hurt. 

How her heart was breaking into pieces. 

In spite of the visible angst Kit saw a courageous fire that would carry Bette through this difficult time although she wished everything was right.  Even so, she didn’t know what to say.

She admitted, “I don’t know what to say.” 

“I’m sorry that… ” Bette’s usually rich voice quivered.

Kit shook her head, reached for Bette’s hand and held it carefully.  There was no need to apologize.

“Baby girl it’s okay.”  The gentle tone soothed a part of her brokenness.  

She wished it was enough.  Bette wanted it to urge the ache anywhere but in the deepest part of her chest.  Where tightness enveloped the raw feelings that beset her present.

“It will be okay.” Kit assured over and over. It was almost enough to encourage her to think of positive scenarios.  But she couldn’t help contemplating only one thing in the moment.   

Right then, she silently wondered when this harsh personal winter was going to loosen its grip.

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