I had missed it. Where was her piece of the trade? “Take me back again, Baby.” I had said to her as we had rocked together.

Bette had laughed softly in my ear.  ”With pleasure.” And I had felt the press of her tongue along my neck. Then, I began to understand our chemistry as we had slowly connected with currents, and her body telling mine a memory, and then there it was – a way to tell our darker stories without words.

There are moments when an intimacy occurs that you’ll never forget, and recalling it can startle you with its power. It can have an image that comes with its memory, a picture that will always take you back to it with a swiftness and clarity of pain and pleasure it can be that strong.

I gone back with her back to the edge of my safety, back to where I wanted to trust in her strength, and let her know that I knew she was powerful and attractive to me, and undeniably strong, and capable of containing me. I had known for the second time that night, she had me. I was hers in the trickster’s bargain. But then, I felt what I had missed before. A sense of blue, and a break in her heart, something feminine, and always something remaining lost to her.

It had made me feel intensely sad the first time I saw it in her. In the beginning only an invitation to visit the graves with her, then a belief that remained always unloved, and a question that has stayed with me forever with the picture of her stricken showing me instead: This part of me will never heal. It is too broken.

“But touch me there because it’s still alive,” she had said to me in a whisper.

There are no words to speak to such an unconscious place. Only symbols and the deepness of body heat can reach it.

###

I’m floating above the water and my body feels distant from me. I hear Bette calling the ambulance. I sense her kneel down next to my head and shoulders, and then we watch as between my legs out comes something very wrong, and there is so much blood.

Then suddenly, she’s in the water with me and I’m no longer alone. The blood in red waves spreads away from us. Every place she can she touches me to let me know, I may be falling, but she has me. That’s our dance.

“Breathe with me again and remember.” She says and then everything becomes black.

Next story in sequence is Milkyway.

__________ media you may enjoy____________

@ModernLWord  has a hilarious Twitter feed.

@thelword_FPAGE & @foreverthelword each have great pics, links and amusing thoughts, and photos of the L Word cast and fun moments to look back upon.

@lesfan I can’t say enough thank yous to them so Follow them for certain.

Follow me @Blackbird_Writes on Twitter for stories.

Tina Kennard The L Word, Tina Kennard The L Word, Tina Kennard The L Word, Tina Kennard The L Word, Tina Kennard The L Word, Tina Kennard The L Word, Tina Kennard The L Word, Tina Kennard The L Word